This Week's Horoscope
PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20)
March 02, 2006
You suck at making decisions to a timetable. So what? When you're left to your own devices, this isn't a problem. It's only when you're required to conform to somebody else's schedule that you run into trouble. As hard as you try, you sometimes encounter an unavoidable, seemingly impossible deadline. Every Pisces needs a strategy for dealing with these situations effectively. I know some who simply flip a coin (a few times) and abide by whatever the result is, despite their own misgivings. They've recognized that they'd have misgivings—or at least mixed feelings—either way. What's your tactic? Don't have one? Work on that, this week.
ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19)
Nearly every Aries who wrote me (regarding the five things holding you back) mentioned problems with stick-to-it-iveness. Many Rams have trouble seeing long-term (and occasionally even short-term) projects through to fruition. They feel compelled to sample many different experiences, and move on to new ones quickly. This is absolutely fine—as long as it doesn't become a lifelong habit. Members of your tribe are usually very successful, once they've learned to rein in that intense (but ever-shifting) focus. The ones who learn to stay excited long after the honeymoon glow has faded are the ones who get rich, married and famous. The ones who don't—well they don't get much of anywhere.
TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20)
Taureans rarely seek the easy way out. You don't often shrink from unpleasant realities, or hesitate to work your way out of a hole. That's why when there's a simple route to success, absolution or happiness, you don't trust it—frequently you don't even notice it! Of course, there's no such thing as a free ride so I don't expect you to fall for any of the sucker trips that nail some of the more naive signs. However, keep your eyes peeled for a realistic shortcut this week, because one is very likely to present itself. I know I'm fond of reminding people that the journey is more important than the destination, and I still stand by that. But I also believe that a good journey isn't necessarily the one that takes the longest way around.
GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20)
You're gorgeous, darling. You've been lovely all along—only this week people are more likely to actually notice. That ought to feel good after feeling more or less invisible the last few months. Don't let it go to your head, though; part of the reason people are looking at you with a new eye is because of the kind of humility or modesty you've acquired during this last chapter. Don't start showing off now. Quiet confidence is the way. Go ahead and bask in this overdue spotlight of attention, but please resist the urge to perform in it.
CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22)
The convoluted, exhausting hoops you make others jump through are nothing compared to the obstacle courses you make yourself suffer. Why do you do this to us and to yourself? Your eagerness to leap to concrete conclusions based on a broad spectrum of ever-shifting emotions only makes life more unpleasant for you and everyone. "Because of this and that and this, it means he doesn't love me." Shit like that, whether it's "true" or not (and it's probably not), isn't the least bit helpful and only makes it more likely that you'll manifest the scenario that you dread. Please keep that in mind this week. Take things at face value—without imbuing them with hidden meanings—or don't take them at all.
LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22)
You really can't keep a good Leo down. Now that you're free of the dampening influences of some of those who were holding you back (mostly without meaning to, to be fair), you can go ahead and thrive in ways you haven't been able to in many months (or, in some cases, years). Concentrate on rediscovering the parts of yourself that you'd nearly forgotten about, and certainly haven't—in recent memory—expressed. Remember what's great about you? I'll give you a hint. One of the things I admire about Leos is their bold, unabashed, honest (yet kind) directness. You used to say shit most other signs just don't have the balls to say. Isn't it time you started again?
VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22)
When I encounter someone who's gung-ho to tear astrology a new asshole with their well-honed skepticism, I pop his philosophical hard-on by cheerfully agreeing it's all bullshit. Spare me that boring crap. When I meet someone more open-minded, however, I'm usually happy to indulge their curiosity and even share whatever advice or guidance I can come up with. I know you tend to trust your own instincts over others' insights, but this week I suggest you sheathe your cynicism; it's not currently doing you any good. You need someone who's objective to help you with this one—preferably a stranger. If you ask nicely, they might give you the advice and guidance you need. Even if they're pulling it out of their ass instead of astrological insight, and even if you don't agree with it, you'll get something out of it anyway.
LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22)
While your luxury-loving ruling planet, Venus, was on a sojourn in the Spartan realm of Capricorn, things were strange. That's not, shall we say, exactly a natural pairing. It's like a trust-fund-socialite trying to shop in the auto parts store. She just doesn't get what's on offer or why she'd want to buy it. Luckily, this week Venus finally escapes that weird hell and finds herself, if not in the shoe shop of her fantasies, at least someplace where she understands the world around her. You, too, should feel more at home in the places you find yourself this week.
SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21)
If you give a dog treats all the time, they cease to be treats, really. He comes to expect them, and they're suddenly more likely to be a source of disappointment (when he doesn't get one) than pleasure. That's not to say he doesn't enjoy them every time you give them to him, but they're no longer quite so special. You see where I'm going with this, right? This is not, of course, a reason to start withholding (from yourself or anyone) the basic pleasures of your existence. But choose at least one special thing that you'll strive to keep that way, and not ruin with overindulgence.
SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21)
Yeah, you could just wipe your hands of the whole thing and walk away. It doesn't technically have anything to do with you, after all. But it's happening in your neighborhood, so to speak. Most of the time, you're right—you'd be better off leaving well enough alone. But in this case you actually have the power to do something about a situation—if not make it right, at least improve it. I confess, I buy into that whole "with power comes responsibility" thing, so if I were in your shoes, I'd feel some kind of obligation to try. Don't you?
CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19)
It's not that there aren't many layers to you; it's that you've got them so well compartmentalized and under control—each one emerges when it's appropriate—that most people think of you as an incredibly consistent, excessively-focused and slightly boring person. They don't get to see all the other sides of you—except maybe this week, when it might be in your best interest to allow some cracks, at least, to appear in the facade. Hell, while you're at it, just rip off your business suit, stripper-style, and show off what you've got underneath. I mean, if you're going to do it, why not do it with some kind of flair?
AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18)
Life should start to feel significantly lusher this week. That's a good thing after the kind of bare bones winter you had. Enjoy your suddenly much more rich-feeling surroundings this week, but please don't overindulge. All that abundance after the Spartan existence of your most recent chapter could make you sick. And the last thing you want is to be miserable because your life has gotten better. So go ahead and enjoy the improvements that have come your way—but go slow. Savor them slowly—and make them (and your enjoyment of them) last that much longer.
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