This Week's Horoscope
ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19)
March 23, 2006
Some people don't understand your passion, probably because they've never let themselves experience anything like it. They see it as changeable, inconsistent and unreliable—which it is, but so what? It's a tremendous, all-consuming flame, constantly hungry for new fuel to feed it. That scares them. This week, though, you have a chance to introduce someone to the painful joy that real passion entails. Just don't instantly unleash the full force of that fiery intensity, because at the first singe they'll turn tail and run for the hills. Warm them up slowly. If you really take your time, you'll eventually light a fire so bright it'll cut your electricity bills in half.
TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20)
I recently tracked down an old Taurus friend. It was easy. He had the same number he's had for the last 10 years. In the same amount of time, I've lived in half a dozen different cities and wandered the whole world. I was impressed and deeply intrigued, as I always am with someone who's quite consciously made different choices than I have. I guarantee there's a lot of richness to be gained there. This week, track down and catch up with someone you loved, but whose choices diverged wildly from the ones you made. You both have something important to be learned from the other—and guess what? There's fun to be had there, too.
GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20)
This is a good week, astrologically, what with your ruling planet, Mercury, pulling out of its hassle-causing retrograde movement, and Mars having a hot threesome in your house with sexy Venus and mysterious Neptune. What does all this mean in human terms? Perhaps nothing amazing, per se, but whole mountains of pleasantness lie before you; everything you set your hand to at the moment will turn out at least alright. You could just chill and enjoy it, if you like. But you could also see that as a good base upon which to build. You could turn this above-average week into an extraordinary one. That, my dear, is entirely up to you.
CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22)
Don't self-sabotage. You may feel daunted by the convolutions of the path ahead of you, but to quit before you've begun would be incredibly stupid. After all, you've been training for this kind of thing your whole life (especially since the obstacle course ahead is mostly of your own design and choosing). It won't be easy, but if anyone can navigate that treacherous maze, it's you. What's the worst that could happen, after all? Yeah, it would suck to make it three-quarters of the way through and then fail. But I can't help thinking that even though breaking your own leg now would be easier, it would, in the bigger picture view, suck a whole lot more.
LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22)
Darling, I know how much you want to be loved. And you're never happier than when you've got your entourage of admirers. But you've also got to learn to operate and shine without your coterie/lover/minions. It may not come naturally to you; after all, lions are social creatures who normally operate in a pride. But it's also necessary for not only your happiness but your survival, because those who love you simply can't be there all the times you need them to. You've gotten lazy, using all that attention to supply the radiance you're famous for. This week, let your shine come from within, regardless of who's there to notice or appreciate it.
VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22)
Transcend anything that might be construed as prudish. You're not naturally squeamish or prim (what earth sign is?) but you're sometimes innocent or inexperienced in a way that can come off as straitlaced or pedantic. However, considering the crowd, or person, you want to impress this week, displaying anything less than a lusty sense of humor and an eager willingness to try anything at least once would be doing yourself an injustice. After all, here's a chance to become that much more worldly and experienced—and have a blast doing it. Please, darling: don't blow it.
LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22)
As I've gotten older, I've nurtured a growing appreciation for you guys. Don't get me wrong. I'm still terribly bored by those Libras who manifest their impulses towards balance by choosing an incredibly average middle-of-the-road path. They're stultifyingly "nice" and "normal." However, those Libras who are more ambitious and imaginative, who take their artistic impulses and sprint with them, who use their flexibility, in every sense of the word, to add true beauty and not just bland prettiness to the world—those Libras are my heroes. If you're not fulfilling that gorgeous potential, get on it. Remember, you'll never be anyone's hero by maintaining the status quo, diluting or obscuring your individuality, or just being "nice."
SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21)
You're the kind of acquired taste it's hard to shake. People may cringe at your intense flavor at first but given a second or third chance, they often come around to loving it. You've been getting down on yourself lately, because people haven't been lapping you up like ice cream. They just haven't gotten used to you yet. It's certainly no reason to try to tone yourself down so that more people can enjoy you. Be patient. If you'll just hang tight, I guarantee that at least a few of those people who initially turned their noses up at what you had to offer will soon come back around for more.
SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21)
Unlike you, some of us don't spring from our beds looking as fresh as daisies. We've got horrible bedhead, morning breath and bags under our eyes, and it takes at least a little while before we're ready to face the world, let alone embark on the next adventure. Oh, you need some prep, too? We'd never get that impression from the kind of superhuman attitude you've been sporting lately. I have to tell you—it's put a few of your potential admirers off. You don't need to flaunt your flaws, exactly, but letting us catch a glimpse of them wouldn't be so hard, would it? I think you'll find that the whole picture of who you are—good and bad—earns you more respect (and gets you laid more often) than trying to put your best face forward.
CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19)
Many Capricorns think of their bodies as machines—something to be maintained and often a source of embarrassment or inconvenience. But this week you're likely to remember, quite viscerally, how great a fount of pleasure and joy your body can be, despite its imperfections or "malfunctions." Go with it. It's about time you revised your perception of your body and started to actually love it, instead of just deal with it. You've too long had a kind of disconnect between heart, mind and flesh. This week's sensual potential could be just the thing to heal that gap.
AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18)
Watch where you're slinging the cooling influence of the water you carry this week, Water Bearer. Although people mostly benefit from the kind of reason and logic you bring to emotional situations, it can also be quite a damper if improperly used. Sometimes people need to explore extremes of feeling—even if they're dangerous—to learn something new about themselves, or just to satisfy themselves that they're really living their lives. So be wary about the kind of help you offer this week. If you see someone in flames, certainly get the bucket ready. But don't put the fire out unless you're quite certain they want you to.
PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20)
I've never met a Pisces who could perfectly "fit in." Despite your extreme malleability and changeability, or perhaps because of it, consistently blending into your surroundings and not startling people nearby with your numerous eccentricities has always been impossible. That tendency's likely to be magnified this week, so don't torture yourself with perceived social pressures. We love you just the way you are. Let it all hang out. It will, anyway, and we'd much rather you sported all your idiosyncrasies with grace and pride, rather than spend your time and energy scrambling to try to cover them up.
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