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July 13, 2006
BEST POLITICAL ACTIVIST
Nikhilananda
You've seen him on Akaku's Maui Talks TV show, which just celebrated
its fourth anniversary. You've voted for him—or not voted for him—in
six previous U.S. House or Maui County Council races. Now Green Party
activist Nikhilananda is running for office again—this time for the
open East Maui County Council seat being vacated by Bob Carroll. He's
right on all the issues, but can't seem to win a race. "Just because
I've lost races doesn't make me a loser," he recently told me. You know
what? He's right again.
Runner-up: (Tie) Sierra Club Maui Chairman Lance Holter and Maui County Environmental Coordinator Rob Parsons (AP)
EDIT PICK:
BEST PLACE TO BITCH ABOUT PARKING
Paia
I used to love to roam the boutique, art gallery and bistro-laden
streets of Paia. And there's nothing better than people watching while
drinking Marg's on the lanai of Milagros Food Co. Of course, I also
appreciate the good values of natural foods at Mana. But apparently, so
does everyone else. The last few times I've attempted my usual
meanderings on the North Shore were disastrous—and that was before I
could even get out of my car. Circling for hours, frustration and heavy
traffic is now what I equate with time spent in Paia. Bypass-shmypass!
Where the hell do I park?
Runners-up: Wailuku, Lahaina and Ross (SC)
BEST PLACE TO WATCH THE SUNSET
Makena
You guys chose Makena—that golden, undeveloped sprawl from Little
Beach to Third Entrance—as the best place to watch the sunset, and I
concur. If tons of sand, breaking waves, a stellar view of Molokini,
Kaho'olawe and majestic mountains at your back don't normally do it for
you, then how does all of that lit up with a sinking fiery sphere of
Maui sun and a sky full of purples and pinks sound? Maybe add a light
ocean breeze and a cold one in your hand? I'll see you there at about
seven.
Runner-up: Kamaole III Beach Park. (GG)
BEST USE OF COUNTY FUNDS
Roads
Great job, people. You do know that roads are built and maintained
by the state, right? Not the county? Yeah, see that means county funds
aren't actually getting spent on roads. Now I know there's some reason
for confusion here, since the county does maintain a Department of
Transportation, but road money? That's a matter for Governor Linda
Lingle and her mighty administration, so take it up with her.
Runner-up: County Parks & Recreation department. (AP)
EDIT PICK:
BEST PLACE TO CONTEMPLATE LIFE'S EXISTENCE
The Dragon's Teeth
Maui offers many possibilities—the Haleakala crater at sunrise,
Hamoa Beach in Hana, the redwood forest at Polipoli—but my favorite is
a place called The Dragon's Teeth in Kapalua. It's a small promontory
right next to D.T. Fleming Beach that eerily resembles the jaw line of
a dragon, if that dragon was made out of lava. It's also right next to
a massive ancient Hawaiian burial ground—the same one that kept the
Ritz-Carlton Kapalua from a beachfront location—so you have to be quiet
and respectful. (AP)
EDIT PICK:
BEST METER MAID
Keith Taguma
Maui Police Officer Keith Taguma must hand out the most tickets on
the island. I don't know the stats, but I and everyone else I know who
lives and works in Wailuku typically see him wielding the radar gun on
Pi'ilani Highway, then later handing out parking tickets in Wailuku
Town, then pulling someone over on Kuihelani Highway for speeding. In
fact, he writes so many parking tickets and nails so many speeders all
over town that I'm beginning to think the real Taguma underwent some
trauma—like an accidental shooting, for instance—and was then rebuilt
with artificial parts until he became Maui's own version of Robocop.
(JR)
EDIT PICK:
BEST ENVIRONMENTAL ISSUE
Pump Don't Dump
What, you people don't like it when commercial tour boats and ocean
liners release raw sewage into local waters? Well, you've got a lot in
common then with the Pump Don't Dump group (www.pumpdontdump.com), a
loose gathering of citizens who raised so much hell at Ma'alaea Harbor
that they shamed a bunch—but not all—of the boats that tie up there to
start getting their sewage pumped out, convinced the county to pay for
a temporary pump-truck for the boats and got the state to pony up some
dough to build a proper pump-out facility.
Runner-up: Water (AP)
EDIT PICK:
BEST QUESTION EVERY LOCAL POLITICAL CANDIDATE NEEDS TO ANSWER
Is it moratorium time?
Land development is the core issue of all of Maui's politics, with
every other issue—water use, traffic, education, health care, ocean
pollution and affordable housing—branching from it. There's no question
that development has slowed during the last four years of Mayor Alan
Arakawa's administration from the go-go Apana years—though we've still
seen approvals for the big Pulelehua, Kapalua Mauka and Kapalua Bay
projects from Maui Land & Pineapple Co. as well as Charlie Jenck's
giant Wailea 670 deal—but there's also an increasingly frantic
realization that corresponding infrastructure hasn't caught up. Put
simply, developers spend big bucks backing elected officials, and it's
never easy to say no to that kind of money. But something's gotta
change, and now's a perfect time to start asking the "tough questions."
(AP)
BEST COUNTY OFFICIAL
Jo Anne Johnson
Boy, you people really love West Maui County Council member Jo Anne
Johnson. First elected in 2000, she immediately became (in)famous for
calling for a moratorium on land development. Yeah, what a nutty idea
that was—good thing the county didn't follow her advice, or we'd just
have empty hillsides at Launiupoko to stare at and a lot fewer cars on
the road to keep us company when we drive to and from work each day.
Runner-up: Former Liquor Control Adjudication Board member Lance Collins (AP)
EDIT PICK:
BEST CORPORATE TOOL RUNNING FOR MAYOR
James "Kimo" Apana
Oh man, this wasn't even close. Do you people realize that between
1992 and 2002, when he lost the mayor's office to Alan Arakawa,
then-Mayor Apana raked in nearly $1 million in campaign contributions?
A good chunk came from unions, which isn't surprising given his
Democratic Party credentials, but many thousands of dollars came from
big companies with names like Maui Land & Pineapple, Alexander
& Baldwin, Castle & Cooke, Dowling Company, Amfac and all sorts
of realtor political action committees. The guy was practically
drowning in corporate cash when he last ran, and there's no reason to
believe things will be different this time.
Runner-up: Wailuku Councilman Dain Kane (AP)
BEST COUNTY BLUNDER
Abandoned cars
In a county that approves huge numbers of big commercial and
residential developments without waiting for the corresponding
infrastructure—roads, sewer lines, water sources, schools, etc.—to
catch up, you chose abandoned cars. Yeah, they're not pretty to look at
when you drive by, but the county has already put up the heat on them
with Mayor Arakawa's much-publicized "No Littah!" campaign.
Runner-up: No Lahaina or Paia Bypass [NOTE: People, this is a STATE OF HAWAI'I, not COUNTY problem!] (AP)
EDIT PICK:
BEST REASON TO VISIT MAKENA RIGHT NOW TODAY
Dowling Company
Seibu's big, big plans to shovel enough hotels, condos and golf
courses into Makena to rival Wailea may be stalled, but in late June
the Maui Planning Commission voted 5-2 to approve developer Everett
Dowling's plan to build 71 "luxury" condos—reported asking price: $3
million a piece—on some of the area's wildest, most sacred oceanfront
land. But hey, they're the Maui Planning Commission—they must know
best, right? (AP)
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