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July 13, 2006
BEST BEACH TO WATCH BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE
Ka'anapali Beach
It's ironic you all chose Ka'anapali as the best place to look at
beautiful people, because the last time I was there it was so packed I
had to sit next to a fat, bald man who told me to make sure the whale
society didn't take him for a beached whale. But aside from that
unlucky encounter, the stretch of sand from Dig Me to Black Rock is a
favorite for Westside sun-loving hotties to catch a tan.
Runner-up: Little Beach. (GG)
EDIT PICK:
BEST PLACE TO PLAY DARTS
Henry's Bar
When you walk in, the dartboards are in the far left corner, between
the stage and the shuffleboard game. Now I'm not going to lie to you:
unless they've gotten some new acquisitions lately, the darts pretty
much suck. And this is a good thing, because they force you to do one
of two things: concentrate and play even better than you normally
do—which isn't going to happen because Henry's is a bar—or relax and
settle in for an even longer game than usual. Either way, you can't
lose. 41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei, 879-2849. (AP)
BEST SWIMMING BEACH
Big Beach
I am a huge fan of Big Beach for beach days. But I was surprised
that you voted it the best place to swim. It's not a place where you
just get your toes in and splash around. Actually, Big Beach isn't a
place where you should get in unless you're willing to get pounded into
the sand. I was just there a few days ago, swimming along innocently.
My favorite thing to do is swim up to the wave before it crashes and
let the water pull me around without feeling any danger. So a huge set
rolled in, but I was too far out to make it safely to shore and too
close to make it over the break. You can guess what happened next.
There's nothing like rolling around in the washing machine without air
for a minute to make you appreciate being alive.
Runner-up: Baby Beach. (HK)
EDIT PICK:
BEST WAY TO MAKE YOUR DATE SCREAM
Zip lining
You're standing mere inches from the edge of a cliff. Taking a deep
breath and a running start, suddenly you're hundreds of feet above the
ground, soaring through trees on a steel cable. It's called zip lining,
and it's an exhilarating thrill ride that also has you appreciating the
natural, serene beauty of Haleakala's diverse vegetation and animal
life. And the friendly guides for Skyline Eco Adventures point out
various tidbits on native species of birds threatened with extinction
before they dole out the award for which zip liner has the Best Scream.
Also makes for an awesome first date. Located in Kula, off Haleakala
Crater Rd. Visit online at www.skylinehawaii.com or call 878-8400. (SC)
BEST SNORKELING SPOT
Black Rock
Dividing Ka'anapali Beach in half, this big rock is flooded in
coral. But you all know that of course, since you voted for it. Sea
turtles aren't rare out there, which makes the snorkelers very happy.
The beach is soft as well, with lifeguards on the outlook. Hawaiian
legend says that warriors would jump off this rock to leave the earth
and meet their ancestors, and there are plenty out there every day who
try to emulate them.
Runner-up: La Perouse. (DR-R)
EDIT PICK:
BEST PLACE TO TAKE OUT YOUR AGGRESSIONS, BARRY BONDS-STYLE
Maui Batting Cages
At least, that's what my more athletic-inclined friends tell me. In
fact, they say there's no better way to unwind than by crushing a
baseball spinning at you at 50, 60 miles per hour. But once it gets up
to 70, even they say their swing starts taking on the appearance of a
windmill. So watch out! Oh, and remember to wear shoes—you don't want
to foul even a 60-mile-per-hour ball off your big toe. 74 Lono Ave.,
Kahului, 873-8554. (AP)
BEST BARBECUING BEACH
Kamaole III
Living on an island, one thing is inevitable: you will barbecue. I
mean really, it would be silly to live here and never spend a day near
the beach, drinking a beer and cooking up ribs, or in my case, veggie
hot dogs. But whatever your eating habits, Kam III is the perfect place
to cook up something on the grill and play a little beer pong.
Runner-up: Launiupoko. (HK)
EDIT PICK:
BEST LOCAL SURFER
Archie Kalepa
He's ridden 60-foot waves at Peahi. "Big wave riding is the best
damn drug out there," he once told a Maui Time reporter. When asked
later what a big wave was, he said simply, "It's a wave that scares
me." Kalepa's also the chief Maui County lifeguard, and he's
revolutionized ocean rescues using jet-skis. He's also paddle-surfed
Honolua Bay and played himself on Baywatch. Did I mention he's also a
Lahaina Town resident, family man and all-around nice guy? (AP)
BEST PUBLIC POOL
Kihei Aquatic Center
What pool do Maui Time Weekly readers trust most to be free of
kiddie urine and wall mold? Where would they go to first on a hot day
that unfortunately coincides with a huge man-of-war invasion? What pool
has the hottest lifeguards, the cleanest lockers, the most colorful
lane separator thingies and even some kick-ass meeting rooms? The one
in Kihei, of course. Personally, I think the Grand Wailea offers a
pretty sweet set-up, minus the part where you get escorted off the
property by an annoyed pool attendant. 303 E. Lipoa St., Kihei,
874-8137.
Runner-up: Lahaina Aquatic Center, 245 Shaw St., Lahaina, 661-7611. (GG)
EDIT PICK:
BEST PLACE TO PLAY POOL
Paradice Bluz
I'm surprised people shoot stick anywhere else on this rock. First
of all, the club is underground, which gives it that old, urban feel
you find in films like Paul Newman's The Hustler. Second, it's dark and
smoke-filled. Third, it's a bar and not a billiards hall, so you can
balance your glass of Bourbon on a stool while you're taking a shot.
Add in the band, beautiful people and the fact that it's in the heart
of Lahaina Town, you really can't go wrong. 744 Front St., Lahaina,
667-5299. (AP)
EDIT PICK:
BEST PLACE FOR HIGH TECH BOARDSHORTS
20-156 Hawai'i
Have you ever emerged from the water only to wish your shorts didn't
get sopping wet? No? Well, it happens to me all the time. Thank God for
20-156's special shorts. Using some special high-tech fabric that coats
the short's fibers rather than the fabric itself, these shorts boast
wind and water protection with the quickest dry-off in the business.
1941 S. Kihei Rd., 872-2208. (JR)
EDIT PICK:
BEST HIKE
Polipoli Redwoods
There is something unquestionably Star Trekish about making your way
across the Haleakala Crater on a moonlit night, and following the Iao
Stream into the interior of the West Maui Mountains definitely has its
charms, but there are few hiking pleasures better than a stroll through
the Redwoods at Polipoli State Park. It's like you're standing in an
Oregon or Washington forest, complete with mist-shrouded tree-tops and
pine cones littering the ground. Located at the end of Waipoli Road.
(AP)
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