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This Weeks Letters


WHERE'S MY SODA?


October 26, 2006
I am writing this letter to explain my utter disgust in your lack of

judgment in regards to the Eh Brah! I submitted (Sept. 28, 2006).

Editing without permission is not something a person in your position

should condone. Let alone editing a piece so poorly, that it elicits a

reply suggesting violence against the writer. I, of course, am talking

about the soda incident as I would hope you are well aware of.

Now, I know you have no idea what I look like, or who the two guys I

was with are, or even why it matters I tell you but let me explain. I

was seeing that movie with my longtime boyfriend and his father (who by

the way, also was in range to get soda thrown on him.) I am a small

girl, I weigh about 100 lbs. and the fact that you allowed into print

the statement that I, let alone anyone, should have been knocked out

for laughing during a movie is so incredibly irresponsible that I

almost can't understand it. I don't know if you have had a chance to

see The Protector, but I can tell you it was one of the most asinine

movies ever created. It's as if the director tried to put every idea he

could think of into a movie about an international ring of elephant

smugglers while tripping on acid. Honestly, if you can't laugh at that

movie you really can't laugh at anything.

This current week's response to my original (if you could call it

that) piece printed two weeks ago honestly has me concerned for my

safety (Eh Brah, Oct. 12, 2006). I feel that if you had printed my

submission as written, the point I was making would have come across

without sounding inflammatory and combative. You made it sound as if

all I was trying to do with that was call the girl a bitch and what I

do not need is some passive aggressive jerk telling me anonymously I

should grow up when they can't even speak up for themselves and ask

someone to quiet down in a theater. It was a piece about making people

aware of the overwhelming urge to have their default for situations be

anger and violence while keeping it light. By printing my edited piece,

and its response, you blew the incident up larger than it needed to be.



I'm going out on a limb here and thinking that you allowed the

retort to print because you thought the conflict was funny. I'm curious

to know if you heavily edited that submission as well. What really gets

me worried is that you didn't weigh the possible consequences of what

you approved. Considering what was written, it's obvious that this

person knows what I look like and living on a small island, who's to

say they won't enact some sort of vengeance against me. I can hear it

now. But what does that have to do with me? Why should I care? Isn't it

nice to have the warning? It's about journalistic integrity and

accountability. By printing that response you condone assault

regardless of its circumstances.

I hope you treat this matter seriously and with respect because I

most definitely am. Please disregard the shorter, Eh Brah! version I

sent the other day; this is what I want you to hear and understand.

Please learn from mistakes and apologize to your readers for making a

mockery of something so threatening and significant. Remember, throw

shakas, not soda.

-Anonymous, via email












The Editor responds: Now

I see why that person threw a soda at you in the theater. See, I edited

your original Eh Brah submission because it was what we in the

newspaper business call "badly written." It was full of spelling,

grammatical and punctuation mistakes, to say nothing of ambiguous and

unclear sentences. Like you, most people who send in Eh Brahs aren't

professional writers, so I edit them—just like I had to fix all the

grammatical, spelling and punctuation mistakes in the above letter.

Here's a tip for you: if you're concerned about how an anonymous Eh

Brah submission might appear in print, then don't send it to me.








BOOTSIE?



Read the candidate profile on Lance Bootsie Collins (Better Know a

Candidate, Oct. 12, 2006) and I have to say it seems like he's trying

to come off as the smartest kid in the class (I'm a lawyer, I read

books about Nietzsche, I read a book every other day, I could talk

about indigenous people for hours, etc.). Real smooth if you're talking

to the admissions director at Princeton, but rather tone deaf to the

great unwashed. Remember, the goal is to get elected, not accepted.

Also, Bootsie is well fed, er, I mean well-funded by an Upcountry cabal

of realtors. And speaking of such, maybe that's Lance's problem in a

nutshell—he doesn't seem real.

-Henry Chianski, via email







The Editor responds:

Collins is funded by an "Upcounty cabal of realtors?" That's

interesting because his campaign finance reports—the latest having been

filed on Oct. 14—seem to show that so far he's taken $1,000 from Haiku

realtor Mark Sheehan and no others. If that's a cabal, it's the weakest

cabal I've ever seen. Am I wrong? I guess not, considering that you

ignored my follow-up email asking for more information. But if I'm

wrong, I'm still willing to look at what you've got.








CORRECTION



Editor Anthony Pignataro really shouldn't lecture Eh Brah writers

who can't spell, since he managed to spell Councilwoman Michelle

Anderson's name wrong in our Sept. 28, 2006 cover story. The "Anderson"

part he nailed, but it was the "Michelle" that threw him. Go figure.

Anyway, he is very sorry.





Maui Time welcomes letters

commenting on our coverage, but only if they're complimentary. If you

still wish to complain about something, please have the decency to use

plenty of bad punctuation and grammar—that makes it easier for us to

make fun of you when we respond. We also reserve the right to edit your

letters. Send your letters to the editor via e-mail

(letters@mauitime.com), regular mail (Letters to the Editor, Maui Time

Weekly, 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793-1742) or fax

(808-244-0446). All correspondence must include your full name,

hometown and phone number.

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