Food & Drink

Serpico's Pizzeria

Five excuses to get your love-thang on at Serpico's

November 16, 2006
Food is lovely. Food never screws me over, stands me up, monitors my

spending or tells me to get a real job. I love food and food loves me.

So it's totally natural that I would spend a lot of time exploring

random culinary delights—hey, I never said that I was a monogamous

eater. Monogamy, especially when it comes to tasty delectable meals, is

highly overrated. Or so I thought… until that fateful day, starving and

lovelorn, when I stumbled into Serpico's Pizzeria and Restaurant—the

Italian Stallion of Maui restaurants.

Ah, Serpico's. Oh Captain of my quivering taste buds, how I love thee! Let me count the ways:

Uno

You are conveniently located in Upcountry Maui. You shine like a

beacon, mocking my hopeless other suitors like McDonald's, Subway and

KFC. They can't hold a light to you as you wait patiently for my

presence. Not to mention, you give great parking. I love the parking,

baby. So on the spot, so right there.

Due

You give me options. I love options. Some days I feel like a big

slice of pizza, some days I feel a little more on the Fettucine Alfredo

side, other times I'm all for stuffing my mouth full of a thick and

juicy Philly Cheesesteak. Monotony? No, not at Serpico's. Pizza Hut eat

your heart out... No Meatball Parmigiana or Baked Ziti on your menu.

I'm afraid that we can never go back to how we were.

Tre

You're fresh, darling! As fresh as they come. Daily deliveries keep

you clean, crisp and tasty. There's nothing worse than that

not-so-fresh feeling. We've all been there. It's even worse when the

not-so-fresh feeling is happening to your food. I love that I never

have to worry about those icky moments with you.

Quattro

You keep it real. Authentic. Italian. Everything is made from

scratch, from the rich and tangy olive oil-drenched marinara and zippy

pizza sauce to the smooth and satisfying Caesar dressing. Pity the fool

who sticks with the $3 Costco Caesar.

Cinque

You've got roots. You've got a successful brother out in Allenhurst, New Jersey with the same name. Twins? Hmm… You don't say!

Serpico's opened in June 2006. They don't sell liquor, but you can bring your own wine or beer.

Owner Hatch Clarke actually moved his "main guy" (manager—how Jersey

is that?) Dario Martinez out from Jersey to open the restaurant. You

can meet him most days at the joint. He makes great pizza and looks

good doing it. That was a blatant hint, ladies.

Clarke has worked with Italian food all over New Jersey since he was

16. Not to give away his age or anything, but he's been doing it for 30

years. And he's a nice guy. No nonsense, good service, great food.

He's also got six kids and a stressed-out wife who does yoga. God bless that woman. MTW

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