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March 22, 2007
I believe it was the astronomer Carl
Sagan who once noted that, "If you want to make an apple pie from
scratch, you must first create the universe." Brilliant about the birth
of stars and the search for extraterrestrial life, perhaps, but Sagan
must have been a lousy cook—do you have any idea how long it takes to
broil a universe? Since most people don't have the time—to say nothing
of the counter space—to do that, in this, our annual Food Issue, we
just skipped ahead to the apple pie. Here's a roundup of our Top Five
selections for all manner of sweet, fattening ways to end your meal.
Read it in good health.
(Contributors: Samantha Campos, Anthony Pignataro, Jen Russo)
Top 5 High End Desserts
Banana Pineapple Lumpia
Pacific`O
It's almost funny how the Pacific`O menu underplays this little
treasure: "Pureed pineapple and bananas wrapped in lumpia wrapper.
Served with macadamia nut ice cream." Have you ever seen this thing, to
say nothing of actually tasted it? Take one creamy spoonful—doesn't
even have to be heaping—and there is no way you will stop. 505 Front
St., Lahaina, 667-4341. (AP)
Portuguese French Toast
Son'z at Swan Court
This recipe comes straight from the kitchen of executive chef George
Gomes' Portuguese grandmother. Way to go, Grandma! And this is no
paltry, Wonder-Bread-soaked-in-eggs- for-breakfast kind of creation.
Son'z is one of the top 10 best new restaurants in the country,
according to Gayot's annual Restaurant Issue released last October.
Anyway, Gomes elevates his grandma's recipe to fancy new heights, with
his special touch by adding sauteed local bananas, "Foster's" style.
Hyatt Regency, 200 Nohea Dr., Ka`anapali, 667-4506. (SC)
Apple Tart
Sansei Seafood Restaurant
I know that when you're at Sansei you want to gorge on their
fantastic sushi and seafood, but I'm saying you better save room for
their apple tart. Once you order one you will be compelled to do so
every time you're go to Sansei. They take ripe and juicy Granny Smith
apples, slice them thinly, bake them on top of some delicate and crisp
puff pastry and then serve it hot at your table embellished with their
homemade caramel sauce. You can even get it a la mode if you wish. 1881
S. Kihei Rd., 879-0004; 600 Office Rd., Kapalua, 669-6286. (JR)
Bangkok Sundae
E&O Trading Co.
That's right, a sundae. Only this one's got fudge, bananas,
coconut-pineapple as well as banana-fudge ice creams, whipped cream and
toasted coconut. Actually, the busser highly recommended the Warm
Banana Spring Roll with carmelized phyllo, smothered in a rum-caramel
sauce with chocolate ice cream and macadamia nuts but I'm kind of a
sucker for anything named Bangkok. Oh, go on. Lahaina Cannery Mall,
667-1818. (SC)
Creme Brulee
Roy's
Mention the restaurant Roy's to someone, and there's about a 99.99
percent chance this person will start raving about the Chocolate
Souffle—Roy's "signature dessert." And yes, the Chocolate Souffle is
very good. But when I go to Roy's, and after dinner there remains in my
stomach some portion of empty space just large enough to hold something
incredibly rich and sweet, I ask for the Creme Brulee. It's soft and
creamy, like a cloud—assuming, of course, that the cloud is full of
sugar. I'm not even what you'd call a Creme Brulee fan, but this is the
best Creme Brulee on the planet Earth. Pi`ilani Shopping Center, Kihei,
891-1120; 4405 Honoapi`ilani Hwy, Kahana, 669-6999. (AP)
Top 5 Under $5 Desserts
Maui Cane Sugar with Lime Juice Crepe
Cafe des Amis
This is a cozy, global bohemian cafe known for crepes. They've got
breakfast crepes, Mediterranean crepes, crepes with apples, avocado and
Brie—you get the picture. But my hands-down favorite crepes are of the
dessert variety—big surprise there—and they're actually all under $5,
with the most expensive being the Strawberries and Cream ($4.75). And
then, of course, there's the Nutella, the honey with sliced almonds,
the bananas and chocolate, and so forth. I prefer the light and tangy,
oh-so-refreshing Maui Cane Sugar with Lime Juice crepe ($2.50). Its
simplicity delights my usually gluttonous sweet tooth and balances me
out for the five other desserts I may have later—sort of like a dessert
amuse-bouche! 42 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-6323. (SC)
Tapioca Pudding
Bangkok Cuisine
It's served in warm coconut milk, just like your mom may or may not
have made. What's not to love? 395 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 893-0026. (AP)
Raspberry Twist
Maui Bake Shop
It's really flakey, crumbly and very raspberry-y, though thankfully
not nearly as sweet as you might think. 2092 Vineyard St., Wailuku,
242-0064. (AP)
Churro
Maui Tacos
There's something irresistible about the churro. It's Mexican, fun
to say and so easy to scarf down. You can get jumbo delicious churros
at Maui Tacos all over Maui for just $1.75 each. That's one economical
way to get your sweet on. Queen Ka`ahumanu Center, Kahului, 871-7726;
Kamaole Beach Center, 2411 S. Kihei Rd., 879-5005; Pi`ilani Village
Shopping Center, 247 Pi`ikea Ave., Kihei, 875-9340; Lahaina Square, 840
Waine`e St., 661-8883; Napili Plaza, 5095 Napilihau St., 665-0222. (JR)
Chocolate Creampuff
Komoda Store and Bakery
People line up at the door for these cream puffs and our neighbor
island friends covet them. If you happen to be going inter-island bring
a box for your hosts and you will be the toast of the evening. And if
you find yourself gobbling one down for breakfast consider yourself
lucky. Komoda's is one of Maui's oldest and best-known bakeries. Don't
want a creampuff? Then try their doughnut sticks, long johns, anpan or
malasadas. 3674 Baldwin Ave., Makawao, 572-7261. (JR)
Top 5 Chocolate Desserts
Pizookie
BJ's Pizzeria
Yes, just as the name implies, it's a pizza and a cookie. Except,
you know, without the cheese, sauce and pizza dough. Anyway, the
Pizookie is a hot mini-pan cookie made with your choice of either
chocolate chip or macadamia-nut white chocolate. And if you get it
without the vanilla ice cream, you'll be really, really sorry. 730
Front St., Lahaina, 661-0700. (SC)
Chocolate Sin Cake
Ruth's Chris Steak House
Rich, dense layers of—oh, yes—sinfully good chocolate and espresso
that I once suggested might be used in lieu of morphine in addiction
treatment centers across the nation. And if it's wrong to eat this
cake, I don't want to be right. 900 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8815; 3750
Wailea Alanui Dr., 874-8880. (SC)
Chocolate Diablo Cake
Fred's Mexican Cafe
This is Fred's one and only dessert, which I suppose makes it the
restaurant's signature dessert. The devil certainly played a role in
the in this wonderfully evil concoction of chocolate mousse, brownie
chunks and whipped cream. 2492 S. Kihei Rd., 891-8600. (AP)
Chocolate Chocolate Tower
Outback Steakhouse
This dessert is soooooo chocolatey, the only way Outback could
describe it to customers is by putting chocolate twice in its name. It
had to be that way. It may be difficult to picture eating so much
chocolate after one of their delicious slabs of prime cut beef but not
impossible. Besides, beef and chocolate go hand in hand, mate. This
tower is aptly named for what seems an endless layer upon layer of
chocolate cake and dark fudgy frosting. 281 Pi`ikea Ave, Kihei,
879-8400; 4405 Honoapi`ilani Hwy, Kahana, 665-1822. (JR)
Chocolat Pot de Creme
Penne Pasta
I'll admit it—I'm addicted to this light mousse cup of chocolate
with chocolate drops and caramel drizzles. Even to the point of driving
all the way to Lahaina from Wailuku just to get it. Aside from being
perfect because it's made with CHOCOLATE, it's a refined dessert in an
unpretentious setting, which makes me all the more comfortable to scarf
the whole thing down by myself before my bellyaching drive back. 180
Dickenson St., Lahaina, 661-6633. (SC)
Top 5 Desserts That Have Fruit
Triple Berry Pie
David Paul's
Blueberries and raspberries and strawberries, oh my! Or is it,
blackberries and blueberries and raspberries? Well, whatever. I'm sure
David Paul's Lahaina Grill, esteemed "Best Maui Restaurant" winner for
the past 14 years in a row according to the Honolulu Magazine readers'
poll, knows how to pick the most luscious berry combination for their
signature dessert. And not a pie to rest on its, uh, berries, the
Triple Berry Pie is also served with vanilla bean ice cream, raspberry
sauce and whipped cream, with a extra dollop of me, drooling off to the
side. 127 Lahainaluna Rd., Lahaina, 667-5117. (SC)
Inside-Out Banana Cream Pie
Main Street Bistro
It's just what the name implies—slice a couple bananas lengthwise,
arrange them in an X, then cover them with cream pie filling, drizzled
caramel and pie crust crumbles. I made three mistakes the first time I
ordered this wonder. First, I shared it with just one other person—two
or even three others dipping in would have been preferable. Second, I
found it so delicious I rapidly ate nearly three quarters of it at one
sitting (which reminded me that bananas, caramel and pie filing aren't
exactly light on the stomach, especially when consumed at a frightening
pace). And third, I ate it just a few hours before I was to sit on a
panel with other journalists and talk about media ownership. Yeah, that
went real smoothly... 2051 Main St., Wailuku, 244-6816. (AP)
Passion Fruit Mousse
Market St. Cafe
Imagine, if you will, a short but stout cylinder of passion fruit
mouse—thick enough to hold its shape but creamy enough to yield to the
slightest fork pressure—topped with whipped cream, a thin wafer cookie
and then drizzled with strawberry sauce, and garnished with a couple
translucent lemon and lime slices. Now go get it. 197 N. Market St.,
Wailuku, 244-4100. (AP)
Strudel
Moana Cafe
Oh my goodness, if you've never eaten the apple strudel at Moana
Cafe, go get one now! It also comes in cherry. It's the perfect
strudel. Ever since my girlfriend and I tried one it's the first thing
we order when sitting down for lunch at Moana Cafe. Yes first–before
tasting their delicious lamb wrap; before tackling their awesome seared
ahi wrap; before even ordering drinks. We might even finish off the
meal with a second one. And take one to go, too. 71 Baldwin Ave, Paia,
579-9999. (JR)
Haupia
Aloha Mixed Plate
The quintessential Hawaiian dessert is sort of a cross between
pudding and Jello. The creamy coconut flavor pudding served in a square
you can pick up with your hands. It's delicious, light and the perfect
finale to your Hawaiian plate lunch. At Aloha Mix Plate you don't even
have to order it, it just comes with your Hawaiian plate, but if you
wanted to get their amazing chow fun instead, it will just cost you a
dollar more for the haupia. 1285 Front St., Lahaina, 661-3322. (JR)
Top 5 More Or Less Healthy Desserts
Vegan Chocolate Cake
Veg Out
Here's a transcript of actual dialogue between two people tasting this cake for the first time:
"This is the best chocolate cake I have ever had."
"Mmmm… This cake is like steak."
"How?"
"It's hearty."
"I know! How do they get that goodness in there and still be vegan?!" 810 Kokomo Rd., Haiku, 575-5320. (AP)
Carrot Cake
Hawaiian Moons Natural Foods
Let's be serious here—carrot cake just sounds healthy because it's
got root vegetables in it. I don't feel the least bit guilty eating
Hawaiian Moons' carrot cake for breakfast or sharing it with my
one-year-old. It's got tiny shavings of carrot throughout and walnuts
and is topped with a delightful cream cheese frosting. Hawaiian Moons
has a terrific deli, as well as chocolate pudding, chocolate decadence
cake, tapioca and pineapple cheesecake. 2411 S. Kihei Rd., 875-4356.
(JR)
Oatmeal Raisin Cookie
Ohana Cafe
This is no mere cookie. About the size of a compact disc and yay
thick, it comes individually wrapped in plastic. And unlike most
oatmeal raisin cookies, this one has a kick to it. "It's spicy and
distinctive," was how a friend described it. Spicy and
distinctive—sounds like this girl I used to know… Anyway, like all the
desserts at Ohana Cafe, the cookie is vegan and wheat-free. 2010 Main
St., Wailuku, 244-5950. (AP)
Carrot-Orange Muffin
Cafe Marc Aurel
Chefs are interesting people—a lot friendlier than your standard
chemist, but holding many of the traits typically associated with mad
scientists. For instance, what on earth was going through the mind of
the first person that mixed carrots and oranges? And yet we have
carrot-orange soup, carrot-orange salad, carrot-orange cake and, at
Cafe Marc Aurel, a wonderful carrot-orange muffin that gives you just
the right combination of Vitamin C and sugary icing. Mmm… icing. 28 N.
Market St., Wailuku, 244-0852. (AP)
Sugar Free, Fat Free Banana Cream Pie
AK's Cafe
At least Elaine Rothermel, the chef and owner of AK's Cafe, is
looking out for those folks trying to keep their sugar and fats in
check. I can't think of another restaurant that has a dessert that a
diabetic can order. You don't have to give up taste with this pie,
either—delicious cream, bananas and crust are all present. Her little
cafe has all kinds of healthy entrees for those of us trying to bless
our God-given vessels with low sugar, salt and fat diets. 1237 Lower
Main St., Wailuku, 244-8774. (JR)
Top 5 Desserts To Go
Chocolove Bars
Working in an office environment definitely has its perks, from time
to time. Like the Chocolove bar bribery, for instance, that former Maui
Time Weekly associate Heidi King used to dole out to me in order to
quell my tyranny over her calendar-editing domain. On those special
days, she'd breeze into my office with a sweet, knowing smile, and
quickly hand over the Belgian Dark, Strong Dark, Extra Strong Dark,
Raspberries in Dark or Cherries and Almonds in Dark Chocolate bar,
while she'd read to me the love poem on the inside wrapper—and I'd
stuff my face with its contents like Augustus Gloop from Charlie and
the Chocolate Factory. The poems, like the chocolate, are all
swoon-worthy classics. But it just so happens that my favorite poem,
"She Walks in Beauty" by Lord Byron, also accompanies my favorite
flavor, the 77 percent cocoa, extra strong dark Chocolove. Available
island-wide. (SC)
Hana Bar
CJ's Deli
It's pretty much your standard epic pastry, styled out with vanilla
ice cream and a mango-apricot glaze. Hey, the judges at Taste of
Lahaina gave it Best Dessert a couple years ago. Fairway Shops in
Ka`anapali, 667-0968. (AP)
Brownie Dips
Dominos
So you just pick up the phone, dial B for brownie and then this
delivery guy and a gooey fudge square with legs show up at your door.
You may think you're having a surreal moment but when you come back to
reality you have actually eaten a whole pizza and a box of chocolate
fudgy squares that you dipped in chocolate before washing it back with
a soda, all without leaving the couch. Yeah, it's Twilight Zone dessert
time. 1215 S. Kihei Rd., 874-6000. (JR)
Chocolate Chip Cookie
John Paul Fine Foods
If you don't feel like cooking but still have a taste for a gourmet
home-cooked supper, John Paul Fine Foods is deli chock full of, like
they say, fine foods. They have excellent items such as salmon poisson
cru, spinach salad, couscous, duck confit and macaroni and cheese. It's
best to top off your order with their chocolate chip cookie. It's
spectacular and worth the $2 price tag. Full of chocolate chunks (not
just chips) and baked crisp on the outside, tender within, it's got
this yummy exotic flavor you can't quite pinpoint—nutmeg or something.
Well, they aren't handing out the recipe so you'll just have to go try
it for yourself. 81 Makawao Ave, Pukalani. 572-7241. (JR)
Malasadas
Home Maid Bakery
When these malasadas are hot and fresh in the morning—all crispy on
the outside and chewy on the inside—there aren't many better ways to
start the day. And that's great because Home Maid only offers them from
5:30 to 9:30 in the morning, and 4 p.m. to 10 p.m. 1005 Lower Main St.,
Wailuku, 244-7015. (AP)
Top 5 Frozen Desserts
Maui Gelato
Paradise Cafe/Wow-Wee Maui Kava Bar & Grill
Paradise Cafe sells a lot of flavors of this popular Italian ice
cream-like substance—dairy-free strawberry, mango, chocolate, mint—but
hold out for the "Maui Gelato," which tastes like coconut. Unless
you're one of those rare freaks out there who eschews coconut, in which
case you can get a cup of another flavor or just take a hike. For those
who don't want to drive all the way to the Ka`ahumanu Center, Wow-Wee
Maui Kava Bar sells the stuff, too, so now you have no excuses.
Paradise Cafe, Queen Ka`ahumanu Center, Kahului, 893-2233; Wow-Wee Maui
Kava Bar & Grill, 333 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 871-1414. (AP)
Shave Ice
Tom's Mini Mart
The ice is really shaved here, in neat flaky, powdery bits, then
packed down and topped with delicious syrups. Plus Tom's has whatever
flavor you can think of. I took my most recent mainland visitor out for
shaved ice. She had never heard of such a treat, where the ice cream is
on the bottom, sweet cream is poured over the top and it's served in a
16-ounce cup with a straw to get every last drop. 372 Waiehu Beach Rd.,
244-2323. (JR)
Guri Guri
Tasaka Guri Guri
For a buck—a single buck!—you get two scoops of frozen, fruity
goodness. The strawberry is good, though it tastes more like strawberry
fruit punch. But who are you to argue with when it just costs a buck?
Certainly not all the locals standing in line in front of you... Maui
Mall, Kahului, 871-4513. (AP)
Sundae and Shakes
Cool Cat Cafe
There's nothing like a nice cool treat on a hot day in Lahaina. When
you've got to cool down in what's got to be the hottest town in
Maui–perhaps even Hawai`i–then head up to the third floor of the Wharf.
There you can get a sundae at Cool Cat Cafe done up the old fashioned
way. Cozy up with your latest crush over hot fudge and whip cream with
a cherry on top. Not crushin'? Then sit at the bar while you suck down
a malt with a little shot of Bailey's Irish cream and swoon over Howard
Ahia's vocals. Either way you'll cool your heels in a sweet way. Wharf
Cinema Center, 658 Front St., Lahaina, 667-0908. (JR)
Kilauea Snowball
Koho Grill & Bar
This little wonder starts with a plain, ordinary scoop of vanilla
ice cream, which is then rolled in graham cracker crumbs. Nothing
particularly difficult there, but then it's plopped into the fryer for
the briefest of moments. Then the fried ice cream scoop gets placed
into a crispy tortilla shell that's been virtually painted with
cinnamon, and finally doused with honey and walnuts. It is divine.
Queen Ka`ahumanu Center, Kahului, 877-5588. (AP)
Top 5 Desserts That Contain Liquor
Kaiserschmarren
Spago
Mmm… Kaiserschmarren. Just saying it sends a thrill throughout my
body. Well, you know how I love German words, too. Spago's
Kaiserschmarren is this unbelievable Austrian souffle pancake filled
with creme fraiche set atop a bed of fresh strawberries surrounded by a
moat of Gewurtzraminer-strawberry sauce. Have this with a glass of
Dolce—a rare wine from Napa Valley that is referred to as "Liquid
Gold"—and you, too, will be mouthing the word "Kaiserschmarren" well
into your dreams. Quite honestly, I recently had a multi-course meal at
Spago Wailea and would have to say I'd consider just about everything
that came out of the kitchen, dessert-worthy. Even the chef. No, I kid.
But I'm not joking about that $130 Japanese Wagyu steak. I might even
forgo chocolate for that one—just don't touch my Kaiserschmarren. Four
Seasons Resort, Wailea, 874-8000. (SC)
Tiramisu
Casanova
Like pizza, tiramisu is an Italian delicacy with many variations.
But, I have to say, of all the tiramisus I've tried so far, Casanova
gets those cocoa-sprinkled, soft, fluffy, rum-soaked layers of cake,
mascarpone and zabaglione down to perfection. Oh, there's also some
espresso in there, which only partly explains the translation,
"pick-me-up." The other, perhaps more interesting reasons go back to
the debatable origins of tiramisu. Turns out tiramisu might've been
created as a bittersweet reminder of the perplexing feelings of love
during World War I, or it could date back to the Renaissance, as a
late-night delight to give energy for lovers—or Venetian prostitutes.
Awwww, yeah… 1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao, 572-0220. (SC)
Chocolate Martini
I`o
Sure, many fine bars and establishments serve their versions of the
chocolate martini. But there's something about the ambience at I'o that
makes sipping their straight-up, chilled mix of premium vodka, Godiva
Dark and White chocolate liqueurs somehow more appropriate. It could be
because of the magnificent post-modern design of the bar, or the cool
glassware. It could be the beautiful, oceanfront setting or impeccable
bar service. Or it could be the sight of Chef James McDonald gliding
past in his fancy chef-coat—who knows? Who cares? Yes, I'll have
another, thank you. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8422. (SC)
Le Panier De Fruits De Saison Parfumes Au Grand Marnier
Chez Paul
Can we say, "Ooh la la?" I can't help it, along with the cheese
(which Chez Paul also has listed as a dessert), the French really know
how to serve it up simple and fresh… and with liquor! Them's my kind of
people. Loosely translated, this dessert features fresh seasonal
berries with Grand Marnier and creme fraiche. And if you're like
me—someone who prefers to have their dessert that has liquor WITH
liquor—you'll let the others eat cake while you order a "Maui
Antoinette," an aperitif of Grand Marnier, Courvoisier, coffee, creme
Chantilly, lemon and sugar rind. 820 Olowalu Rd., 661-3843. (SC)
Port Wine Poached Pear
Vino Italian Tapas & Wine Bar
You know, pears are very versatile. You can drench them in chocolate
or soak them in cinnamon, cloves, sugar and port, like they do at Vino,
where they're served with vanilla ice cream. It's actually a pretty
time-intensive process—what with the skinning, core-ing, poaching,
cooling, boiling, baking, puff-pastry wrapping and sprinkling of
garnishes and stuff. Whew, that's enough to make me wanna eat one! You
know, that somebody else prepared. 2000 Village Rd., Kapalua, 661-8466.
(SC) MTW
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