This Week's Horoscope
Aries (March 21-April 19)
April 12, 2007
Has spring fever hit you yet? Don't let recent disappointments hold you back from being as adventurous and wild as you've ever been, because caution and restraint right now would keep you from truly experiencing one of the most exciting and inspiring weeks this season. Besides, although it's good to have prudence and moderation as skills in reserve, by and large they don't suit you Rams, who are supposed to be the wild boys and girls of the zodiac. Sometimes it's good to contradict that stereotype—but this week we'd rather you lived up to it.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
Some musicians or albums stay in my rotation for a month or a year; others I never tire of (Billie Holiday, for example). Taureans, in general, are drawn to art, music and people who are with them for the long haul, rather than conforming to a specific, ephemeral mood. Sometimes, however, it's confusing to determine which is which, when you're in the moment. This week, step back and examine the people you're tight with right now. Are they friends who are here today, but may be gone tomorrow, or are they likely to be in your life decades from now? What you do with that information is up to you; I just think it's important that you have it.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
It doesn't matter if the odds are against you. Imagine you're on a game show, being presented with a bag full of keys. If you choose the one that'll start the brand new car, it's yours. Sure, odds are you're going to take the bus home, but there's always that slim chance, which ought to be enough to get your heart pounding. Look for threads of hope this week, no matter how slender. Ignore the depressing abundance of more likely disappointment, and let those slim positive prospects motivate you; they're your lifelines to the next chapter.
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Your reputation for being high-maintenance, while not entirely unjustified, is definitely unreasonably inflated; it's based on a few isolated incidents, rather than taking into account the many times you were actually pretty chill. Unfortunately, there's usually not much you can do to change the impression that you're needy or emotionally fragile, once someone's decided you are. Fortunately, this week is a rare chance to do exactly that, by keeping your cool when everyone else loses their heads, and coming up with the kinds of solutions others are too stressed out to think of.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
Sometimes you get too attached to a certain idea: what your ideal job, friend, neighborhood, or lover should look like, for example. While in pursuit of that ideal, you let perfectly desirable scenarios (some even better than what you imagined) pass you by. The truth is, your ideal might be unattainable, or it might not even exist, which means you'll never be content—unless you become a little more open-minded and flexible. Allow yourself to be open to surprises, and you might find they're almost all pleasant ones.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
One of my best Virgo friends was recently joking about her largely fruitless efforts to reign in a Pisces friend and make him conform to her responsible, scheduled and slightly anal ways. While I won't argue that we'd all benefit from borrowing some of your efficiency and pragmatism, I can explain why most of us won't bother: we can't. We're simply not wired the way you are. It's almost like a superpower, the way you excel at getting shit done. Forgive us our failings, Virgo, and remember: this is why we need you.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
Sometimes when someone's exceptionally talented in some way, others regard them as owing something to the world. It'd be a crime, they say, to deprive everyone of such beauty and brilliance. Forgive people for making demands of you, Libra. In a way, it's an expression of admiration and love, and if you can find a way to fulfill their desires and make yourself happy, please do so. It's all about finding that balance between what you need and what others want. You're supposed to be good at that. This week, prove you are.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
There are times to vociferously resist and question authority. Once in a while, though, someone with power tries to do something right. That's actually likely this week. Even though you may not like their methods or timing, arguing them would mostly be selfish, rather than righteous. No one's asking you to help or support people who don't have exactly your agenda. However, if their intentions are good and likely to at least partially succeed, it'd be mighty nice of you to simply get out of their way.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
You also often talk and act as if you're less intelligent than you really are. This odd habit actually feeds directly into one of your greatest talents: being able to talk to anyone from any walk of life. Anyone who takes the time to get to know you figures out that there's a keen mind lurking under your casually unpretentious exterior. But what about those who don't get to know you? Especially those who might be in a position to influence your life? Sometimes, the superficial details matter. This week, what you wear (or something equally trivial) might, unfortunately, count for more than who you are.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
Some people never grow up. It can be charming, like an Aries' perpetual childlike ability to play. It's less appealing when someone doesn't take responsibility for their actions, especially those that affect you negatively. You have two basic options when that happens: School them and try to get them to clean up their own messes, or let it go and walk away. Most of the time I hope you do your best to fix the situation by correcting their behavior; it's your right not to have your metaphorical toes stepped on, after all. This week, however, nothing you can say or do is likely to have any positive impact on the situation (in fact, it'll only aggravate it, or you), so I'd advise the latter course: breathe deep, shake it off, and walk away.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
You require a lot of stimulus to keep your sharp mind active and engaged. There are many situations you could potentially find tedious, and even if you temporarily stave off the boredom with a book, cellphone, or ipod, eventually it will catch up to you—especially this week. Therefore, take a cue from your astrological neighbor, Pisces. I've never met a bored Piscean; they find ways to be interested and entertained by even the dullest situations. I'm still not entirely sure how they do it; either they're mildly autistic, or enlightened (or both). But I'm certain you could learn something from them, and should.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
You Fish have a very loose, fluid relationship with time. Sometimes that works in your favor; mostly, though, it means you lose track of it. You're on the beach staring out over the water for just a few seconds; then you look down and notice you're buried up to your knees in wave-carried sand. I've learned to interpret that a Piscean "be there in five minutes" usually means 20 or 30. I'm mostly okay with that, now that I know. Like me, most people will have no problem cutting you a little slack in this department; all you need do is give them a clue that it's necessary.
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