2007-11-01 News
Coconut Wireless
by Anthony Pignataro	write the author
Two weeks fro now this will be a common sight November 01, 2007 WEDNESDAY, Oct. 24 So the Native Hawaiian Recognition Act passed the U.S. House of Representatives today. The Native Hawaiian Recognition Act passed the U.S. House of Representatives today? Oh my God, the Native Hawaiian Recognition Act passed the U.S. House of Representatives today! Actually, reading that over again, I think I had it right the first time. See, despite the big play in all the Hawai'i papers that I just know is coming tomorrow (what, you think I write this on the fly?) this is really not a big deal. I mean, not only has it happened before, but the bill—first introduced by U.S. Senator Daniel Akaka (D, Hawai'i) waaaaaay back in 2000—still has to pass the Senate (doubtful) and get signed into law by the President, who is still George W. Bush (all but impossible). Still, you have to admire the pluck of House Republicans who still feel the need to slash away at the bill as though it has a chance in Hell of becoming law. "The legislation is divisive and would give a group of United States citizens special rights over other citizens based sole on race," Georgia congressman Lynn Westmoreland said, according to today's Honolulu Advertiser. Hey—if anyone knows anything about being divisive, it's a Republican. THURSDAY, Oct. 25 It may not seem like a slow news week, with all the Superferry and Akaka Bill transpirings, but today's Honolulu Star-Bulletin has a fairly large story on the sickly hammerhead shark that's lately been "cruising"? South Maui beaches. While showing lots of cool color photos of the shark splashing around in the shallows, it stops of short of quoting one Jerry Orban (no, not that dead Law & Order guy—that was Jerry Orbach), a tourist from Denver quoted very prominently in an Oct. 24 Maui News story on the shark. Now according to the News, Orban played a small but curious role in the apparent beaching of the shark. According to The Maui News, Orban "pulled him [the hammerhead] on shore,"? which caused the shark to "shoot" a "big fish head" out of its mouth. If this seems rather odd, it's nothing compared to what Orban told us. In an Oct. 22 conversation with Maui Time Associate Editor Starr Begley, Orban said some very, very different things. Basically, Orban insisted that he grabbed the hammerhead by the tail and pulled him ashore, which the shark apparently didn't mind, and then reached into the hammerhead's mouth and pulled out a fish head, which the shark had apparently been choking on""an act the shark again apparently didn't struggle against. Of course, Orban also said he's a psychic who sensed that the shark was sick, so maybe he and the shark were on the same page.  FRIDAY, Oct. 26 Of course, you don't need to be a psychic to have predicted this one: the Lahaina Bypass—30 years in the making!—is going to take a few more years before it gets built. Yup, it's stalled again, this time indefinitely, according to today's Maui News. Road crews discovered some apparent pre-contact Hawaiian burials while starting on the road—sites that somehow missed appearing in two separate archaeological studies of the bypass corridor, conducted in 1992 and 2002. But hey, this is the Lahaina Bypass we're talking about! Of course it's going to be delayed indefinitely! I think after 30 years of delays, actually building the thing would be almost a letdown. SATURDAY, Oct. 27 Well, it looks like Jerry Orban may actually be psychic after all. Today's Maui News has a big color photo of a dead hammerhead shark—and sea turtle!—found on Charley Young Beach. Emblazoned with the header "IT SHOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED" and written by none other than Maui News City Editor Edwin Tanji, the story explains that the shark was very sick from fibropapilloma tumors but killed, along with two turtles, by an "illegally set gill net." By the way, today's Maui News front page exemplifies what we in the journalism biz call a "slow news day." In addition to the dead shark story (which had two color photos), the page includes a wire-service story on the Superferry bill passing the state House of Representatives, a piece on how all those wildfires in Southern California caused "hardships" for the thousands of people who had to flee and a story announcing that Maui County Council member Jo Anne Johnson was proposing a moratorium on West Maui ag lands—news that not only appeared in this paper two days ago, but was also first posted on our website as an exclusive way back on Oct. 18. Not that we're keeping track or anything. SUNDAY, Oct. 28 You know what would really make this whole Hawai`i Superferry, Inc. "compromise" thing go a lot smoother? If state officials like Governor Linda Lingle would just apologize and admit that she was completely wrong on the whole "Does the Superferry need to do an environmental review?" question. I think she could get away with whatever Superferry exemption she wanted if she would just do that. But since she probably won't be so gracious, I'm going to quote state Representative Hermina Morita (D, Kauai), giving her thoughts in the legislative record on what the "compromise" really means: "This is a special interest bill to benefit one company from the blunders of the Lingle Administration to avoid disclosure under an environmental review process. This type of action shows no respect for the rule of law by this company or this administration and now, by this body. We jeopardize the integrity of this institution by our participation in this tragic comedy of errors." MONDAY, Oct. 29 Comedy of Errors? Didn't Jerry Orbach star in that? TUESDAY, Oct. 30 With the state Senate voting for the Superferry bill, they're saying the boat should be sailing in two weeks. Seem fair? Anthony Pignataro is, despite what that woman at the Superferry hearing said, very concerned about people coming to "pilferage" Maui. MTW

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