2007-12-06 News
News of the Weird
by Chuck Shepherd	write the author
December 06, 2007 WE'RE DOOMED Pentagon investigators discovered in August that a small South Carolina company fraudulently collected $20.5 million in shipping costs, including one invoice of $999,798 for sending two washers (cost: 19 cents each) to a base in Texas. According to Bloomberg News, the Defense Department was said to have a policy of automatically and unquestioningly paying shipping bills labeled "priority."  GOVERNMENT IN ACTION! About 30 Iowa school districts had their funding applications for preschool grants tossed out in September, the state Department of Education said, because the paperwork was not double-spaced, as required.  DEMOCRACY GOING TO THE DOGS Jane Balogh, 66, was informed in September that she will not be prosecuted for defrauding elections officials in Seattle, despite having illegally registered her dog, Duncan M. MacDonald, to vote. Balogh, protesting how easy officials have made it for people to vote illegally, put her home phone account in Duncan's name, which is all the proof required for registration, then signed him up, and when an absentee ballot arrived, she went public about her scheme. But despite the public confession, Duncan continued to be sent official absentee ballots for the two subsequent election cycles.  JUST SAY NO In September, police in Hertfordshire, England, stood fast under criticism for their program of placing posters around the area reading, "Don't Commit Crime." Said a police spokeswoman, "If stating the obvious helps to reduce crime or has any impact at all, we will do it." The police also installed signs at gas stations: "All Fuel Must Be Paid For." PEOPLE WITH TOO MUCH MONEY The adolescent offspring of some well-to-do parents are serious art collectors, according to a September Wall Street Journal report, and their interest appears not to be motivated solely by parents' strategies to shield income from the tax collector. Ms. Dakota King, nine, for example, owns 40 pieces and specializes in animals and "happy colors." Ms. Shammiel Fleischer-Amoros, 10, who admitted, "I'm really scared, but Daddy told me I have to negotiate," succeeded in getting $200 knocked off of a $3,200 sculpture she really wanted. An 11-year-old last year "waved a paddle" to win a $352,000 Jeff Koons sculpture. OBSESSIONS Just when Internet newspaper sites appear to be gaining ground as replacements for printed editions, a 70-year-old woman identified only as Maggie told the Edmonton (Alberta) Sun in September that her paper edition of the Sun is a crucial part of her daily diet, literally. She eats it, in strips, and has, she said, for the past seven years because it tastes good. "I can't explain it," she said, and it was only when she recently experienced a blockage of her esophagus, and doctors found a ball of paper, that she revealed her obsession. Doctors cited by the Sun said that except for the blockage danger, newspaper eating is not unhealthful.  PEOPLE WITH PROBLEMS Tommy Tester, 58, minister of Gospel Baptist Church in Bristol, Va., was arrested in July after he allegedly urinated at a car wash, in front of children and police officers, while wearing a skirt. Police said alcohol was involved. MTW

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