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Restless Native


Kihei vs. Upcountry


January 24, 2008
I've debated even bringing the subject up because I'm of the mindset that drawing territorial lines in the sand on a very small island could be detrimental to our community. But after a recent overnight stay in Kihei, I'm going to do it anyway.

Growing up, I lived all over the island: Wailuku, Paia, Makawao, Kahului, Kula, Haiku and Waikapu. In fact, the only places I haven't lived are South Maui, the Westside and Hana, but that last one is almost a given.

Even though I spent time in multiple places on the island, the bulk of my life was spent in Makawao. I was never one of those kids that plastered my car with "Upcountry Girl" stickers–though I admit to being tempted on numerous occasions–nor did I ever scream, "Cun-tray!" while rolling down Makawao Avenue in a big four-wheel drive truck.

But I've always secretly harbored the conviction that Upcountry–its people, places, climate and over-all vibe–is way better than Kihei. Upcountry has cowboys, whereas Kihei has drunk tourist dudes. Sorry, but I'd take a Portuguese Paniolo who's set to inherit land in Ulupalakua from his Grandpa over a Southern Californian with bad tattoos any day.

And then there are the women. Upcountry girls are strong and resilient. We can hang with the boys, throw a mean rotten guava, hop a fence and cow-tip with the best of them, all while retaining our hotness factor. Can you say that about EWOKs (Easy Women of Kihei)? Hey, I didn't coin the phrase, but I can't honestly say that I don't utter an "Amen" while smirking after hearing it.

Other obvious arguments against Kihei are that it's hot, dusty, traffic-congested and overflowing with tourist traps, tourists and pedestrians. Not that there's anything wrong with pedestrians, unless you're like me and occasionally jump the sidewalk while making left turns in your SUV.

Points for Upcountry include afternoon showers, livestock adorning the landscape like a real-life Thomas Kincaid painting, non-touristy art, eucalyptus trees, streams and Pukalani Superette.

Unfortunately, both locations of the island have their share of batu-heads. Ten years ago I would have said Kihei was a tweaker town while Upcountry was more of a stoner ville, but times have changed for the worse. Of course, I still have to back Upcountry and say that our meth-heads seem less agro than the ones zipping along South Kihei Road on mopeds. Maybe it's just that Kihei is more aggravating than Upcountry… You know with all the EWOKS and traffic.

But while spending a lovely Saturday down in Kihei at my sister-in-law's house, I began to have a change of heart.

No, the people that I came into contact with weren't the same as the ones Upcountry, but they weren't bad people either. There were a lot of tourists milling around, but they actually accentuated the feeling that I was on a "mini vacation." Plus, most tourists are pretty cool if you take the time to stop and chat with them.

Being so close to the water was a treat, and sunsets in Kihei are pretty phenomenal. Kihei is also convenient: if I need an internet bar, stiff drink, pedicure, ice cream cone, Jamba Juice and/or a plate of lasagna with a side of sushi, I can have it all within five minutes.

As an added bonus, an ice cream truck –music and all–comes through my Sister-in-law's street in the evenings. I never had that when I was growing up. The closest thing driving through our neighborhood was the trailer full of cows heading to the slaughterhouse.

I'm beginning to think Upcountry needs to step up its game.

Starr Begley sometimes pretends she's an EWOK, but the smell of guavas in her hair gives her away every time. MTW

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  1. print email
    Stuupedd!
    January 25, 2008 | 11:10 PM

    i think all this stuff is a bunch of crap!!! All this east side, west side, south side, north side, wai side crap has to STOP and all this gang banging, street fighting and mobbing shit has to stop! Crips and Bloods here is just something to call yourselves when you try to block everything in life out! because your scared. of what? i don't really know, it could be anything but you know what... all this young teenagers in high school and middle school saying or repping red and/or blue.. Brah you guys gotta stop... Fighting aint the answer to anything but the outcome of fighting is the one that'll lead you the wrong way! You guys try and go to the mainland.. try tell those people that you rep red or you rep blue.. omg.... you guys would probably get a cap up your ass or mobbed or something.. but this bunch of shit is so stupid!! What does everyone else know these islands as? The Island of "Aloha" .... not the rock that everyone hates eachother on!!! Brah just stop... This might not make everybody change their mind about it but i know (sadly) atleast one person will take this into their heart and actually change and rearrange themselves.... Aloha...

    @NDR@L@Nii
  2. print email
    TINK!!!
    January 25, 2008 | 11:14 PM

    Try and tink where you going be in 5 years with the choices you're making... think and ask yourself... Do you people think of the younger generations that are up-coming? Don't you want what's best for them? All i wanna say is tink!

    jill
  3. print email
    Solid
    January 26, 2008 | 12:56 PM

    I agree with @NDR@L@Nii

    Henry
  4. print email
    What is the cause?
    January 27, 2008 | 07:30 PM

    When it comes to reppping red or blue (kids did that in my highschool... Are they still at it?) or Westside vs. Central or whatever why do you folks think people do it? On an island this small, why do people fight over even smaller locations? Is it part of what has become the "local" culture? Any insights?

    Starr Begley
  5. print email
    Rock On Guavas!!!
    January 28, 2008 | 02:52 PM

    Whoa!!! Am I the only human being that read this article and laughed my ass off??? I think that it has less to do with gangs and more to do with personal preferences on where you live on the island. Come on people, we live Hawaii...let's just chill. Anyway, Upcountry Rocks way more than Kihei. Can you say "Bad Boy" T-shirts?? I think you get me. No Contest.

    lila blk
  6. print email
    It's not Kihei Vs. Upcounytry..
    January 28, 2008 | 05:58 PM

    ...It's idiots Vs. idiots! It's unbelievable that you actually got to put this rubbish in maui time. It completely discredits this paper. The only reason you claim one region or race over another is to create the illusion that you are part of a larger group and actually have some sort of power or meaning. You don't! You really don't. you only have the power to annoy.

    It's called "group think" or "collectivism" the real issue is how intelligent people should deal with fools that can't comprehend basic human concepts and think more like animals. I suggest for starters you don't reproduce.

    Chris
  7. print email
    All sorts of hilarious
    January 29, 2008 | 12:24 PM

    Well, I thought this was funny. Especially since I could relate to it. I don't think the intention was so much to bring up gang rivalry on Maui, as much as it was to poke fun at the idea that even in such an enclosed space as Maui, area rivalries can still thrive.
    Sure I love Maui as a whole, but I do live in Wailuku and have been known to rep it. I think that the area rivalries are just an extenstion of human ego: the area we live in is better than the area they live in, so by association, we're better than they are. Or I could be making all of this stuff up, I dunno.
    Finally: I've never heard the term EWOKs, but it sure as hell is going to be part of my regular vocabulary now. Frikkin' hilarious.

    ynez
  8. print email
    Whoopsie!
    January 29, 2008 | 05:47 PM

    Sorry, Chris. I already reproduced... Twice!

    Starr Begley
  9. print email
    January 30, 2008 | 07:55 PM

    Every girl from Hawai`i is strong and resilient, not only the ones from Upcountry. And the fact that you wanted to bag on other ladies from a certain side of the island shows either that you don't like yourself very much, or you really are that small minded. You might want to step up your game too and find some topics that are of interest. Do you even get the people that read maui time, Upcountry girl? How about making it about entertaining us and writing about things that we can relate to, not all of us are mothers and local girls and we read the column to be inspired, moved or feel connected by the fact that we are different and the same. Not to feel annoyed, bored, disconnected or pissed off. Seriously, work it out, guava muncher.

    Lila B.
  10. print email
    ewok ewok
    January 30, 2008 | 09:39 PM

    that's funny dude~ kihei is full of hoochies, uhh... but sooo is upcountry...awwright!

    guava muncher
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