2008-03-20 Columns

Eh Brah

March 20, 2008

Even a few months after the fact, I still get angry just thinking about you. Whenever I try to explain to someone what you did—the ignorance and arrogance that you so casually displayed for the rest of us—I can feel my face getting red with fury. Seriously, what were you guys thinking? You were in line at the check-out aisle like the rest of us—you saw how many customers were waiting. And you, like the rest of us, saw how uncomfortable we all became when that first guy took out his checkbook to pay for his stuff. Checks! At the store! Who still does that? First the cashier needed to check his ID, then the manager came over, and before we knew it everything had stopped dead. Finally, the cashier accepted the check and the guy left. That’s why I couldn’t believe it when you got up to the front of the line and took out your checkbook! Even though my girlfriend was standing next to me, growing increasingly annoyed at my own annoyance, I couldn’t help throwing a fit. Seriously, we live in the 21st century: a time of ATM and credit cards. Oh, and places still accept cash, too. Please think about that the next time you go to the store.

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faster, faster
March 21, 2008 | 10:48 AM

In this day of fast food and fast lanes, drive thru everything, and high speed connections, tolerance and patience have become a thing of the past, along with checkbooks. Although convenience is the norm these days, those that do not adopt every new policy and keep up with technology should not be attacked. Living in a metropolitan melting pot city in the mainland, I take advantage of modern conveniences. But every so often I get in line behind somone who is not quite "up to speed", and instead of getting impatient and making the poor person fell more inept and uncomfortable I find something to focus my attention on to pass the time and level my patience. Life is too short to hassle others that are not "super savvy". I find the extra time is not really that much of an inconvenience, and people watching instead of pacing in anger is much more rewarding, and so much less stressful. Besides, causing a scene does not expedite the process, it only distracts the one trying to complete the transaction and exacerbates the situation, adding even more time. Rather counterproductive don't you think?

Beantown Benevolance
Slow what! Behave.
March 21, 2008 | 12:16 PM

Maybe you should have offered to pay for that person, that would have sped the line up. Or maybe you should use a home delivery service, so you don't have to deal with slowpokes. Maybe you should take a course on human relations, you sure seem to need it. I agree with your girlfriend, you are way out of line, and I ain't talking about the checkout line, brah.

Bill
Simmer down!
March 21, 2008 | 06:40 PM

Okay seriously I thought it was going to be something bad but you got all worked up over someone inconveniencing you by writing a check ahead of you in line? That's just ridiculous. I couldn't help but chuckle at the part where you mentioned how irritated you get just thinking about it. WOW - what do you do when the guy in front of you decides not to blaze through the yellow light and you get stuck waiting for the green? I can picture you now getting out of your car and falsing some poor sap just because your PMS kicked in when you were behind the wheel! I hope I never run into you at the super market...or anywhere for that matter! Take a prozac sweetie!

Malu Lani
there are worse things on this island
March 21, 2008 | 08:46 PM

Wow, reading the first two sentences, I thought "uh oh, this person perceived a really serious transgression, here it comes, someone is going to get it!" Then..what an anti-climax! I suspect Maui Time published your submission ironically, to make you look petty. There is some seriously weird, offensive stuff happening on this island. Apparently you are not exposed to them.

Huelo small-time junglelord
You are what is wrong with this island
March 21, 2008 | 11:12 PM

Brah, that rant is so lame. WTF just get a clue and get a life.
Spoiled, inconsiderate jackass you! Go live somewhere more conducive to your mentality.

Iwishiwroteacheckinfrontof You Biatch
Try Wait
March 22, 2008 | 02:37 AM

Dear Maui Time: Perhaps I am confused about the founding idea behind your Eh Brah column. It has become increasingly mundane, and this last one was ridiculous in so many ways. To boot, it shows Centerstage how spoiled and thoughtless folks (like our impatient man waiting in line) can be. Now, wasn't that kinda the point of the column in the first place, to show how westernization of this place has poisoned it? Your dude in line illustrates this brilliantly. I write checks, because I have been a victim of rampant identity fraud via my debit card. Waddaya folks have, children with no life experience choosing the columns for your newspaper? Really, please tell me: what was the reason behind founding Eh Brah?
To quote da jerk in line: "Seriously, what were you guys thinking?"

jillian
I hear you, but...
March 22, 2008 | 04:52 AM

I've seen the same Check-At-The-Checkstand perpetrators, and I get that twinge of mild outrage at those Luddites who steadfastly resist progress and pay by check. It's an irony that paper checks were invented to get around another inconvenience: having to carry cash on your person. In their time, checks were considered a convenience, just like debit cards are today. A lot of folks resisted using the "newfangled" form of payment back then, just like your two checkstand speedbumps. However, it's Paradise we're in here; time to cool it out and slow it down. If you choose this life (like I did), you should try to slow your tempo 'cause songs are slower here. I still get jumpy and Jonesin once in awhile, but Island Time is starting to rub-off on me. So make allowances, take a few quiet deep breaths, and get frosty when those Ants In Your Pants make you want to jump and squirm.

Maui Mike
You belong in New York or LA
March 22, 2008 | 12:38 PM

Are you kidding me? You live on Maui, and that non-incident pissed you off? Obviously, the island vibes have done you no good at all. You should move to New York or LA where there are other people as impatient and as petty as you.

Bill
What a waste of perfectly good Eh Brah space
March 23, 2008 | 05:28 PM

I kept waiting for some kind of climax while I was reading this, I was wondering "what could this guy possibly have done?" What a letdown when I finally reach the part where he wrote a check. Wow, big freakin deal. While it may be a little outdated, checks are still a valid form of payment in the world. Get over it. I'm a little surprised that Maui Time actually printed this one. Do you guys pick and choose what goes into this column or do you give everyone their day in the sun?

Ilene Downe
RE: Try Wait
March 23, 2008 | 08:46 PM

Dear Jillian,

Honestly, we were thinking that most people would read Eh Brah, maybe chuckle a bit, and move on. Never in our wildest dreams did we imagine that so many people like you would be moved to write in and denounce it (and us). To us, that is a dream come true. What did you think, that Eh Brah is about educating the public? About exposing corruption? Eh Brah is about entertainment, and believe me: there is nothing more entertaining than a bunch of readers going off on some guy who went off on some check-writers. Hilarious.

Anthony Pignataro, Editor
I Don't Get It...
March 24, 2008 | 03:17 AM

I was in line at Foodland this afternoon when the woman ahead of me wrote a check. I certainly didn't think she was ignorant or arrogant. No big deal, man! Life is too short to sweat small stuff like this...

Legendary Yeti
A walking bumper sticker - or Pato Banton lyric?
March 24, 2008 | 07:21 PM

Either this guy is the reason those "Slow down, this ain't the mainland" bumper stickers exist, or he's the sole inspiration behind Mr. Banton's song "I don't sniff the coke (i only smoke the sensimilla)".

Whatever it is, he moved to the wrong place.

"Hey everyone, just cooool out...just cooooool o

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