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May 29, 2008
THE BROTHERS GROPE
Freddie Johnson, 49, was arrested in New York City in April, for the 53rd time after he allegedly once again rubbed up against women on crowded trains. He is such a menace (a 57-page rap sheet) that a special NYPD detail follows him around, certain that he will re-offend. Shortly after the arrest, the New York Daily News reported that his twin brother Teddy is now serving an eight-year sentence in upstate New York for a series of subway gropings of his own. A retired police officer told the Daily News that he saw the brothers almost every day and could tell them apart only by their clothes. Freddie, he said, was "blue collar" while Teddy conducted his fondlings "always dressed in a blazer and slacks."
GOVERNMENT IN ACTION!
In April, Army medic Monica Brown was awarded the Silver Star for bravery for selflessly subjecting herself to enemy fire in order to treat fallen comrades in battle in Afghanistan. But two days after her heroics, she was ordered home, against her will, because generals were nervous that a female appeared to be "in combat," which violates Army rules. By contrast, in April (according to The Buffalo News), the Army, citing personnel shortages, ordered honorably discharged soldier James Raymond back to duty, even though he is on medical disability for a knee injury and loss of hearing suffered in Afghanistan.
KINDER, GENTLER GOVERNMENT
The county government in Tampa, Fla., revealed in April that because of its unusual interpretation of state law, all of its inmates on work-release programs during the last 15 years have been accruing pension and post-retirement health-care credits.
FINE POINTS OF THE LAW
Gary Weaver, 41, arrested on a disorderly conduct charge in Cincinnati, was discovered to have an outstanding theft warrant from 1990 involving $21.64. The temporary bond on Weaver in 1990, based on his prior record, had been $1 million, and the 2008 judge refused to change that. The $21.64 theft was based on Weaver's paying a store in part with a roll of dimes that were really pennies but with a dime at each end.
QUESTIONABLE JUDGMENTS
London's Daily Mail reported in April that the Mab Lane Primary School in Liverpool was boldly dealing with the problem of unruly students by scheduling 20-minute massage sessions twice a week in a room with aromatic oils and soothing music. Children of all ages at the school are taught "simple shoulder and back massages on each other," the newspaper reported.
PEOPLE DIFFERENT FROM US
In April, police in East Hampton, Conn., investigating the accidental shooting of ex-Marine Joseph Simonelli, 60, by his nine-year-old son, seized "dozens of unsecured guns and mounds of loose ammunition" from the home, according to the Hartford Courant, which contained a "wide-open, chock-full gun cabinet in the boy's bedroom [with] numerous rifles and knives strewn about the room." According to police, bullet casings and live rounds lay "throughout the house," and the walls of the boy's bedroom bore small holes [made by a] bb/pellet gun or even small-caliber (.22) rounds being shot inside the home." The boy told police that he "usually" only shoots his rifles when he's outside. MTW
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