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2008-06-19 News
News of the Weird

by Chuck Shepherd
June 19, 2008
WHATEVER THEY SAY

The Los Angeles Police Department announced in April that it had investigated 320 complaints against its officers last year for alleged "racial profiling" and found that not a single one was valid. The Los Angeles Times reported that that was at least the sixth consecutive year that LAPD reported a perfect record on racial profiling.

UNFAIR ADVANTAGE

The Government Accountability Office revealed in April that more than 60,000 of the federal government's contractors owe a total of about $7.7 billion in unpaid federal taxes, and that health care providers who take Medicare payments owe an additional $1 billion in late taxes. One unnamed company owes $10 million in back taxes, yet the Pentagon did $1 million worth of business with it. (One activist on tax issues pointed out that firms might find it easy to win low-bid contracts if they don't have the tax expense that their competitors have.)

PRIORITIES IN ORDER

The British government compensates soldiers the equivalent of about $115,000 if they lose a leg in battle. In March, though, the Defense Ministry paid out the equivalent of about $400,000 in disability to a civil servant who had injured his back while lifting a printer, and in May the ministry paid out the equivalent of about $500,000 to an army paratrooper to settle a claim of "humiliating and demeaning" treatment. The soldier had undergone sex-change surgery, converting from "Ian" into "Jan," yet was ordered by the army to report for a physical exam dressed as Ian.

PEOPLE WITH PROBLEMS

Martin Turner, 39, of Blackpool, England, plead guilty to four counts of harassment in May. Specifically, he pestered several workmen by telephone over a three-year period to please come by and stand on his face, his fingers and his genitals while wearing their heavy boots. His lawyer said it had something to do with "domination." Jeremy Pope, 26, was arrested in April in Madison, Wis., in an alleged second episode at a Target store (the first was in December at a ShopKo), in which he urinated on womenunderwear on the shelves. Police said Pope was quick to confess: "Yeah, I have a problem."

WE AGREE

Police in Mesa, Ariz., chased driver Christopher Psomas, 38, in May after his companion, Ashley Strahan, 20, allegedly tried to pass a forged check at a business. The pair's car ran red lights at high speeds to get out of town, then left the road near the Salt River Reservation, and when the car became disabled, kept going on foot. However, they ran smack into a bed of chola cactus, becoming virtual pin cushions. At Banner Desert Medical Center, as nurses plucked the needles from his body, Psomas, in pain and in tears, said, "I am so stupid. This is what I get for trying to run from the police."

WAYNE NOT GOOD MIDDLE NAME

Arrested recently, and awaiting trial for murder: Cody Wayne Moore, Rockford, Ill. (April); Larry Wayne Rubin, Decatur, Ga. (April); Darrell Wayne Buchanan, Burke County, N.C. (February). Pleaded guilty to murder: Christopher Wayne Hudson, Melbourne, Australia (May); Fred Wayne Douty II, Martinsburg, W.Va. (June). Committed suicide while a suspect in the murder of a state trooper: Brandon Wayne Robertson, Cass County, Texas (May). MTW

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