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September 25, 2008 WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 17
The primary election is just three days away, but not every politico is sweating it. Among those candidates running unopposed—and enjoying the concurrent low blood pressure—is Councilman Mike Victorino who along with his son, pro ballplayer Shane, stars in our acclaimed ongoing series Victorino Watch 2008. The latest stats: Victorino the Elder, still unopposed (but for some reason putting up campaign signs, maybe just so we don’t forget about him); Victorino the younger, hitting a healthy .333 over the past 15 games including a 3-for-4 performance today that helped keep his Philadelphia Phillies atop the National League East standings with the playoffs rapidly approaching.
THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 18
Our e-mail of the day comes courtesy of someone named “Mr. No-No.” It’s a list of Halloween safety tips that begins innocuously enough with common sense suggestions like keep your kids in sight at all times, bring a flashlight, don’t hand the wee ones a knife when pumpkin carving, etc. Then we arrive at this: “Take treats to a court house or an airport and get it [sic] x-rayed if available.” While the image of a kid in a Batman costume going through airport security with his bag of Goobers and candy corn is mildly amusing, I’ve still gotta say: this is madness. Numerous investigations have confirmed that there’s no veracity to the old “razorblade in the candy apple” urban yarn. Yet each year as All Hallows’ Eve approaches we’re bombarded with paranoid rants like the one from Mr. No-No (how do I get on these people’s mailing lists?) disguised as helpful holiday tips. When I was a kid, my neighbor made these really awesome popcorn balls; they were always the first things I ate, usually before I even got home. Now it’d take a team of chemical experts in hazmat suits running a month-long battery of tests before I could peel back the Saran wrap. Sad.
FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 19
Weird food metaphor of the week: In a Maui News article about the economic slowdown and the still-raging battle over TVRs, Wailuku Main Street Association director Jocelyn Perreira said, “Businesses should focus on local population as the meat and potatoes, and the visitors are the gravy.” I get what she means, but I dunno—isn’t there a less vaguely gross way to express that thought?
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 20
A few desultory impressions from my first election day on Maui: I voted in the morning and the polling place was pretty dead. I assumed this was due to everyone recovering from their Friday evening of pre-election partaking, but reports throughout the day had turnout at a trickle islandwide. Not too surprising I suppose, given the lack of a certain Junior Senator from Illinois on the ballot… Overheard on N. Market St. in Wailuku: “Save the drama for Tasha Kama.” A missed campaign slogan if ever there was one… Kudos to Akaku for providing really solid election coverage, bringing in candidates and a diverse array of commentators and generally exceeding the freewheeling standards of the community access format. Plus, they handled the predictable lateness of the official returns with aplomb. I kept my laptop tuned to their online feed while firing off Twitters and stayed fully informed without putting a shirt on.
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 21
After the mandatory delay, the results are in. Biggest story of the night is probably upstart Kama, who came tantalizingly close to unseating Joe Souki in the District 8 race. Now, with no Republican challenger, Souki’s in. In the other “fresh faced youth vs. good old boy” contest, Summer Starr got over 1,600 votes but couldn’t take down incumbent Kyle Yamashita. Though Maui Time missed the mark on those two races, every candidate we endorsed for County Council advanced. The gap between the first and second place finishers was 4,000 votes or more in every council race, meaning the underdogs will have an uphill battle in the general election. Meanwhile, the latest voter turnout figures confirm the anecdotal evidence: only about 25 percent of registered Maui residents did their civic duty. Even given the lack of high profile races, that’s pathetic.
MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 22
Because we’ve been hammering them with some regularity in this space, in the interest of fairness we should note no major issues have been reported with the Hart InterCivic machines that were used to tally Saturday’s results. It’ll be interesting to see what happens November 4, when the turnout—and the stakes—will be higher… In other news: If you haven’t already watched the spot-on Sarah Palin impression Tiny Fey busted out on Saturday Night Live—the glasses were the easy part, but she also nailed the shrill Alaskan lilt—Google it now. Though I do have to temper that recommendation with the caveat that SNL, which once upon a time was the edgiest thing on TV, doesn’t punch nearly hard enough these days. A few jabs at Plain’s inexperience and fundamentalist beliefs aside, the bit—which featured the GOP number two and Hillary Clinton (played by the hilarious Amy Poehler) holding a joint press conference to denounce sexism in politics—missed a lot of easy opportunities to draw blood. I’m not asking the show to become a partisan shill for the Dems—bumbling Biden is almost as parody-ready as Palin—but real political satire goes for the jugular.
TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 23
Hana Ranch is up for sale and that means murmurs of concern from conservationists. The current owners are making the right overtures about finding a buyer who’ll be a good steward of the priceless land (well, priceless in the abstract sense; in reality it’s priced at $65 million). In a statement quoted in The Maui News, the owners said they “do not foresee selling the property to a developer.” Look closely and you’ll notice there’s a disturbing smidgen of wiggle room in there, but we’ll hope for the best. MTW
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