January 01, 2009
WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 24
So Obama's back on Oahu for one more dose of R&R before he assumes his new position. (To those yowling about him taking a vay-cay so close to Inauguration Day: lighten up. When preparing to inherit a cratering financial crisis, a broken health care system, two mismanaged foreign wars and the creeping menace of global climate change, a little body-surfing can do wonders.) Obama also attended a memorial service for his grandmother, Madelyn Dunham, and scattered her ashes into the ocean off Lanai Lookout. OK, I just gave you a few personal tidbits from the President-elect's visit because I understand people—especially people from Hawaii—are interested in this stuff. But, as I did on more than one occasion during the election, I've got to wag a finger (no not that finger, let's be civil) at the obsessive coverage the media is giving Obama's every move. (Witness the stir over the photos of a shirtless Obama, which the New York Post ran under the predictably cringe-inducing headline "Fit for Office.") Those McCain attack ads that compared Obama to Britney Spears and Paris Hilton were crap, but certain reporters—and these aren't all tabloid limo chasers, some are professional journalists from allegedly reputable news organizations—are making those ads look frighteningly prescient.

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 25
Merry Christmas*, everyone! (*If for whatever reason you don't observe this pseudo-religious celebration of unfettered consumption, I still hope you have a swell day.)

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 26
Just got the latest newsletter from the Governor's office via e-mail (it's like Christmas morning all over again!), which highlights this quote from Lady Lingle regarding the economic downturn: "No one is going to come here to rescue us. We have to meet these challenges head-on. We have to do it in a collaborative fashion, not only between myself and the Legislature; but between myself, the Legislature"...public employees of the state government, and the entire community." Huh. Interesting she's placing such emphasis on cooperation now, given her history of bull-headedly making decisions that show little regard for existing laws and prevailing public opinion (see: that little Superferry story you may have heard about). Wait a minute—I wonder if this whole newsletter, and every other newsletter like it, could be hollow rhetoric. You think?

	Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain sleeping.

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 27
This is only funny if you weren't on the plane: after an initial cover-up attempt, two go! airline pilots—whose names are being withheld—have admitted to falling asleep during a February flight from Honolulu to Hilo, as reported in the Honolulu Star-Bulletin. According to a report from the National Transportation Safety Board, one of the men blamed his ill-timed nap on "the warm Hawaiian sun." Meanwhile, in what has to be a leading candidate for the least reassuring statement of all time, the co-pilot claimed to have been only partially asleep, saying he could "hear what was going on but could not comprehend or make it click." The best/worst part is that, after overshooting the airport, lying to air traffic controllers and eventually landing in Hilo, the pair decided to make the trip back, reasoning that they were refreshed and ready for action after catching some mile high shut-eye"...

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 28
The American Dialect Society (the coolest society in the world) is weighing options for its hotly anticipated word of the year, which will be unveiled January 9 at the society's annual gala (the coolest gala in the world). The leading contenders, according to the society's Web site, are "change," "bailout" and "maverick." Sadly cracking the top 10 is "Joe the Plumber." Seriously—first a book deal and now this? When is that guy going to go back to pulling hair out of shower drains and stuff? (No offense to plumbers, it's an honorable profession. But this clown is giving you all a bad name.)"...In other news, it's good to be president-elect: Checking in on Obama Watch, the AP reports that the massive power outage on Oahu did indeed hit the Obamas at their five-bedroom oceanfront compound, in case you were wondering. But don't worry—three generators had apparently been installed just in case, and a fourth, offered by HECO, had to be turned away. I know he's the leader of the free world and everything, but really? You didn't think there was anyone else on the island who maybe could have used that generator a bit more than the guy who already had three?

MONDAY, DECEMBER 29
Gee, you don't say. An AP story in today's Maui News carries this stunningly obvious headline: "Bush not worst president, say wife, Rice." (That'd be Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice.) So let me get this straight: Bush's wife—the mother of his children—and the woman whose career he advanced with an appointment to the country's top diplomatic post don't think he's the worst president in our nation's history (or at least won't say so publicly)? Color me blown away. The only way this is news is if those two are the only ones who don't think Dubya is the crappiest chief executive ever to hang his stirrups at 1600 Pennsylvania. Which, come to think of it, might actually be the case.

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 30
This isn't gonna go over well: According to an AP story in the Honolulu Advertiser, an unnamed NFL source says the 2010 Pro Bowl will be played in Miami. Honolulu, of course, has been the game's home for more than two decades; it's the one taste of pro football Hawaii's rabid, loyal fan base gets. Whatever financial or other motives the NFL has for making the move—one explanation floated in the AP piece was that having the game before the Superbowl will make it less "anticlimactic"—it's a bad call from a PR standpoint. Florida's already got two teams—do they need the year-end all-star game, too? Plus, I'm betting the players selected to participate in the game (which, let's be honest, is never very good; who wants to get injured in a meaningless exhibition when contracts aren't guaranteed?) have no objection to spending the weekend on Oahu"....In other news: CNNMoney.com reports that Las Vegas—whose California Casino is supposedly an honorary "Hawaiian territory"—has been hit by the recession, to the tune of an 8.5 percent drop in revenue. Makes sense. Why would people travel all the way to Nevada to sink their money into high-risk activities that end up benefiting only the wealthy suits who pull the strings when they could just invest in the stock market? MTW

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