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February 05, 2009 WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 28
The latest unemployment figures are in and things aren't looking good, unless your definition of "good" involves a lot of people not having jobs. Unemployment in Maui County stood at 6.7 percent in December, while statewide the jobless rate was 5.5 percent (high for Hawaii but well below the national average). Probably the most striking stat comes from Molokai, where 11.6 percent of residents are out of work. The reasons—a sharp tourism downturn and the recent shuttering of Molokai Ranch operations—are obvious, but it's still jarring to see the number sitting there on the page. Even more jarring: the knowledge that things are going to get worse. Notice I didn't add, "before they get better."
THURSDAY, JANUARY 29
Hey, good news for the unemployed! A high-power job with a six-figure income and apparently very low hiring standards has just opened up. I'm speaking, of course, about the vacancy created by the impeachment of Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich. I've had some fun with Rod and that wolverine carcass he carries around on his head, so it is with mixed feelings that I report the Illinois state Senate voted 59-0 to remove him from office. On the one hand, yes, the guy tried to sell a seat in the U.S. Senate. On the other hand—such an easy punchline. I mean, after his arrest he actually compared his plight to that of the United States after Pearl Harbor. Seriously. Politicians with balls that size don't come along every day. Adios, Blaggy. We hardly knew ye.
FRIDAY, JANUARY 30
Monotonous and butt-numbing as they can be, public meetings also inspire some of the most interesting, honest and telling sound bites you're likely to hear. Take this one, from Lahaina resident Albert-Dall Napahi Dizon, who, the Maui News reports, spoke recently at a meeting concerning the Villages of Leiali'i, a proposed 3,200-home development set to be built on ceded Native Hawaiian lands. Directing his remarks at project manager Stanley Fujimoto, Dizon reportedly said, "I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at the system." And there it is, the whole conflict in a nutshell.
SATURDAY, JANUARY 31
Aw, the poor thing. Speaking at a meeting of the Maui Chamber of Commerce yesterday, Gov. Lingle defended her position that the state should be able to divvy up ceded Native Hawaiian lands, despite a ruling by the Hawaii Supreme Court that said, in essence, "not so fast." "Nobody likes to have demonstrations against them," Lingle said, as quoted in The Maui News. But, she added, "this is the right thing to do for all the people of Hawaii." I don't know about you, but whenever politicians play the sympathy card by portraying themselves as crusaders for the greater good, unbowed by those mean old protestors who have the gall to exercise their Constitutional right (even if the protestors question the authority of that same Constitution), I kind of want to break something.
SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 1
A six-pack of Maui Brew Co. Bikini Blondes + spicy chicken wings and guacamole + four hours of football = zzzzzzzzzzz… (Let's chat tomorrow, shall we?)
MONDAY, FEBRUARY 2
Feel like getting angry and depressed? Really? OK—check out a new report from Stuart Bowen, the Special Inspector General for Iraq Reconstruction, titled Hard Lessons: The Iraq Reconstruction Experience (didn't they used to play with Hendrix?). The report outlines the many expensive missteps and outright, bone-dumb failures that have marked the invasion, occupation and attempted rebuilding of Iraq. One of the more egregious examples, highlighted in a front page story on CNN.com, is a partially built prison that locals have reportedly termed "the whale." The U.S. has already sunk $40 million into the prison, which will almost certainly never house a prisoner for various practical and bureaucratic reasons. But it sure did make a lot of money for whoever landed the contract. Gee I wonder who that was? Oh look, according a July 29 LA Times piece it was the California-based outfit Parsons Corp., which received over $140 million to build facilities in Iraq that were never, you know, finished. And my goodness, look at this: a 2004 AP article titled "Bush camp rejects Iraq cronyism charges." Here we learn that Parsons Corp. is cozy with Bechtel, which also received gobs of government money for post-war projects in Iraq and (coincidence!) made hefty donations to Bush's campaigns and had several of its top executives seated on defense department "advisory boards." So, to recap: Bush and his minions railroaded us into an ill-planned, poorly executed quagmire that's cost tens of thousands of lives, and then dumped billions of our dollars into failed "reconstruction" projects, with the money going to companies with clear and documented ties to the Administration. And nobody's getting charged with war crimes. Awesome.
TUESDAY FEBRUARY 3
So this is tawdry and silly, but you did just slog through 300 words about Iraqi prison boondoggles and corporate war profiteers so I think you've earned it: According to a story in the Honolulu Advertiser, former Dog the Bounty Hunter associate Tim Chapman (no blood relation to Duane, apparently) was arrested for allegedly fondling himself in his truck in the parking lot of an Oahu shopping center. But that's not the good part. Here's his excuse: he spilled orange juice on his lap, went to the backseat to change his pants, realized he didn't have any underwear on, decided to clean the, ahem, area using baby wipes, discovered his new pair of pants were too loose and so had to change again, decided to have one more go at cleaning his crotch with the baby wipes, saw a security guard approaching and split to avoid bad publicity. Hey, stranger things have happened. MTW
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| Entertainment and lifestyle news for Maui, Hawaii and the surrounding Islands. Maui Time Weekly is Mauis only independent and locally owned newspaper.
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