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October 01, 2009
BREAST INTENTIONS
A male Swedish college student, Ragnar Bengtsson, 26, has begun pumping his breasts at three-hour intervals in a 90-day experiment to see if he can produce milk. If he succeeds, he said, it could prove "very important for men's ability to get much closer to their children at an early stage." A professor of endocrinology told the daily Aftonbladet that male lactation without hormone treatment might produce "a drop or two," but suggested that men instead consider offering their breasts to babies as a matter of comfort and warmth, rather than as food. Bengtsson, who will report regularly on his progress via Stockholm's TV8 channel and the station's Web site, acknowledged that his timetable would sometimes require that he pump during classes.
SORRY EXCUSES
(1) Police in Deer Lake, Newfoundland, decided in August not to press charges against three boys whom they had previously believed had harassed a young moose so badly that it had to be put down. A final piece of evidence against prosecution came from the father of one of the boys, who vouched that the three could not have committed such a crime since they had been busy at the time, vandalizing a nearby church (2) Alexander Kabelis, 31, was arrested for slashing tires on almost 50 vehicles in Boulder, Colo., in May, but offered several explanations, including being overwhelmed by radiation from the nearby Rocky Flats nuclear facility and having been forced by his mother to wear braces on his teeth as a child.
POOL BREAKERS
In July, flat-bed truck driver Nicholas Sparks, 25, hauling two motorcycles and towing two trucks, learned that he could not also handle talking on one cell phone while texting on another and accidentally crashed into a house in Lockport, N.Y., ending up with his truck and part of his cargo submerged. And in Mesa, Ariz., in June, a 27-year-old man who had rigged a short sword to his steering wheel (aimed at his chest) and driven into a brick wall in an effort to kill himself, failed in the attempt when an airbag inflated, causing him to lose control of the car, swerve into a nearby home and, yes, plunge into the pool.
CHICKEN FIGHTING, MOVE OVER
Several state law enforcement agencies raided a home in Shelton, Conn., in July, breaking up an alleged canary-fighting operation. A neighbor called the raid "crazy," adding, "I can't picture little canaries with razor blades taped to their feet."
PEN OF DEBAUCHERY
Three physicians, reporting in The Canadian Journal of Urology in July, described how they handled an emergency-room patient who arrived with a ballpoint pen in his urethra. The man, 57, had assumed that the insertion would be pleasurable, and when it wasn't, thought initially that maybe the pen was not in far enough. After pushing further, to even greater discomfort, he thought that if he pushed it all the way through, it would exit in his rectum, where he could remove it more easily. (Actually, they're not connected.) Doctors removed the pen with the same procedure used to remove kidney stones.
INCOMPETENT CRIMINALS
Kevin Ollie, 17, and Damien Cole, 19, completely failed in their attempted street robbery in Milwaukee, Wis., in August, when they accosted a young man and woman. The male "victim" drew his own gun, shot Ollie fatally and held Cole for the police. Later, Cole, though not the shooter, was charged with Ollie's death under the state's "felony murder" rule, which makes felons responsible if anyone at the scene should die as a result of the crime. Cole could get 55 years in prison. Maui Time Weekly, Chuck Shepherd
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| Entertainment and lifestyle news for Maui, Hawaii and the surrounding Islands. Maui Time Weekly is Maui’s only independent and locally owned newspaper.
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