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May 05, 2010 | 01:43 PM
I get it; you don't love me anymore. But could you at least have the courtesy not to tell all your friends about my little "problem"? This is, in case you haven't noticed, a very small island, and word spreads faster than a tourist girl's legs after three mai tais and a moonlight ukulele serenade. The dating pool is already shallow enough without having a three stroke handicap before I even step up to the tee, if you'll excuse the mixed sports metaphor. In all honesty, your big mouth has driven me to start pricing plane tickets to some place that doesn't feature a hag of an ex girlfriend who can't keep bedroom secrets in the bedroom. Now that I think about it, that was probably your plan all along. And since I refuse to give you the satisfaction of driving me out, I guess I'll just keep spending Friday nights with Rosy Palm and her five sisters, and fill the rest of my time hating you.

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  1. print email
    This is just wrong....
    May 06, 2010 | 10:39 AM

    Dude, get over it and move on already. And to post crap like this in this forum just proves you have a problem, whether "big" or "small". Sounds like you are getting what you deserve. I think you should move back mainland.....Sorry biggie, I had to!

    Keep it to yourself, no one cares.....
  2. print email
    itty bitty
    May 07, 2010 | 05:31 AM

    Brah, I no like hear about your small da kine peepee and fo me, only takes one mai tai wit da tourist wahine and da legs open, no even haf to uke em!!!

    Biggie
  3. print email
    Story of may life
    May 07, 2010 | 09:08 PM

    I Feel your pain Brah

    Lahina 69er
  4. print email
    Poor little guy
    May 08, 2010 | 11:32 AM

    Girls are mean. Maui sucks. Looks like you're getting chewed up and spit back to where you came from. It happens. Bye bye.

    Haiku gurl
  5. print email
    its YOU!
    May 10, 2010 | 03:00 AM

    Oh wow! I heard about you! Not from the girlfriend, I don't know her. I heard it from her friend. You're right, you are NOT getting any pussy on this island again. I told a *lot* of my girlfriends.

    Ha ha ha ha. But, you know, it is all for the best. The world is better off without another babe having to face your awful truth. (By the way, "EEEEUUUUUWWWWWW!")

    Eeeeuuuuuwwwww, again
  6. print email
    Wire Fraud Crime Terror at the Stopwatch in Makawao
    May 10, 2010 | 04:31 AM

    The other day, I was sitting drinking at the Stopwatch in Makawao. They feature big-screen TVs showing sports. All I kow about televised sports spectacles is the Superbowl, and the Superbowl reminded me of the FBI bust at the superbowl of a pimp from hawaii who took an underage runaway girl there to do business with sports fans. Now I was on familiar territory! I decided I had to call the FBI right then and there, to advise them on wire fraud terror crime by drug abusers! So I did, from the Stopwatch public phone. In a loud voice. For a long, long time. Oddly, the scent of law enforcement and surveillance seemed to cast a pall on the good-time atmosphere at the Stopwatch.

    Next time I went to the Stopwatch, I was refused service and banned from the establishment. What does this mean? No matter. The FBI got the caller ID. now, the Stopwatch knows that the drug trafficker elite who meet there to hatch their conspiracies to systematically intimidate those who choose to live a life of integrity despite a corrupt system of intelligence that targets cowards and hypocrites in a multi-dimensional power structure.

    Karen Yukie Yamada
  7. print email
    May 11, 2010 | 02:25 PM

    I would like to reach out and offer support to those who have had to deal with the poor, crazy dear, Karen Yukie Yamada. I have formed a group called "Friends Of Karen Yukie Yamada -- Survivors Of Karen Yukie Yamada" (FOKYY - SOKYY). You can now join this group for $5 on the internet. So there is help: when you think of Yukie Yamada, think "FOKYY - SOKYY, Five Bucks"

    FOKYY SOKYY, Five Bucks
  8. print email
    Title?
    May 20, 2010 | 11:25 AM

    "Should You Be Loved?"

    Little Richard
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