Playground Pariah

2010-06-17 Columns

June 16, 2010 | 04:31 PM

To the lady at the playground with the four crazy snot-nosed kids and only two hands: that's a bad equation, especially when you choose to sit on your fat okole and look the other way while your little demons ruin everyone else's fun. Pushing, hitting, climbing up the slide while other kids are trying to go down—this behavior is taught. The blame rests with you. Then, to top it all off, you light up a cigarette! So not only are you gonna expose my children to your hell spawn, now they gotta breathe your second-hand smoke too? Here's hoping you take that next government check and go get your tubes tied.

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June 17, 2010 | 01:08 PM

At times like this, I really support China's "One kid per couple" ban. And Forced Sterilization. And Eugenics.

Anonymous does not forgive
another extinct species
June 17, 2010 | 03:05 PM

the days of well-mannered and well-disciplined children are a thing of the past. everyone with kids should realize that their brats aren't any better. if we could only go back to the days of not sparing the rod!

ol' mother...hubbard.
family values
June 17, 2010 | 05:46 PM

so far, we have a vote for child-beating, a vote for forced sterilization, and a vote for eugenics.

things certainly are starting off promising. so, since this is hawaii, do we use eugenics to breed more hawaiians? do unemployed surfers / pig hunters get to impregnate more women than sensible people? (Wait! -- that's the system we got going on now!)

someone's brain left da island
family values
June 17, 2010 | 05:46 PM

so far, we have a vote for child-beating, a vote for forced sterilization, and a vote for eugenics.

things certainly are starting off promising. so, since this is hawaii, do we use eugenics to breed more hawaiians? do unemployed surfers / pig hunters get to impregnate more women than sensible people? (Wait! -- that's the system we got going on now!)

someone's brain left da island
June 18, 2010 | 05:12 AM

what do you expect from these #@$%## local people!!!!!

I'm not Biggie
You so not da kine parent
June 18, 2010 | 07:48 AM

So you must be gutless if you are complaining in MauiTime. You should have sat down next to her and talked loudly how rude some children were, pretending to not know the vermin in question were her spawn. You could have gone on about parents who don't care, kids who will end up on welfare, etc. YOU could have told her face to face, but you wimped out and wrote to Anthony P. instead. Use your head, change comes from you first. You are not happy about things? Take some action.

Bill
The Passive Agressive Tactic huh...
June 19, 2010 | 10:44 AM

So Bill, passive agressive tactics work for you?
I think not, LMAO!
You must be the same asshole who bullied my 70 year old Mom for smoking at the SMOKING SECTION at the mall! Your days here are numbered if you think that way.
Maui has a way of chewing people up and spitting them out.

Born & Raised Here
Fat freeloading baby droppers in the voting line
June 20, 2010 | 08:33 PM

Before we make this racial which is how things always go on Maui let's look at the issue. The politicians of Hawaii know that the free loader vote is huge. They will continue to buy votes from the fat freeloaders Hawaiian/Haole/Asian/Or Whatever. This is a problem with politicians in general in Hawaii not just one side. I for one support child-beating and forced sterilization just like the next self respecting racist white guy but I also see the bigger picture. Lazy fathers with continue to leave a trail of bastard hell spawn for the State of Hawaii to pick up the tab for so long as we allow it. Your politicians will continue to buy votes with our tax dollars so long as we let them. Don't believe me, Gov. Lingle gave the island of Molokai lifetime welfare. Guess what? She got a shit load of votes.

An F'in Haole
5 to 1
June 20, 2010 | 08:54 PM

Let not forget it takes 5 of OUR paychecks to support one of those bastard children. Think about it, the paychecks for all the state workers in the welfare office, school, cps (to pick them up when mom ODs on meth) and so on. Just putting it like it is.

Former State Worker
you've got my interest
June 20, 2010 | 11:00 PM

politicians will bribe my lazy ass with welfare to buy my vote? Really?? Wow, Maui truly is paradise. God is Great, as they say at sufi camp.

Where do I sign up? Who do I have to vote for? How much does my fat, greasy, spam-eating, can't-get-me-no-lovin' ass get?

(and..how do i get a fat local woman to bear my bastard child? is it really just a matter of being a regular at the Tiki Lounge?)

vote for sale (cheep!)
Passive? Nope.
June 21, 2010 | 02:08 AM

To Born and raised:

You've got me wrong. I am a different asshole than the one who chewed your mother out about smoking.
My suggestion was not anything like passive aggression. I said to get up next to her and tell her your mind. Pay a bit more attention next time and go get your mom some smokes, she's running out.

Bill
What's up with the pig hunter hatred?
August 13, 2010 | 01:20 PM

Out of control offspring aside, it should practically be a requirement for all Maui residents to dispatch at least one feral pig during their time here. I know there are PETA types who will kill a whole carload of people swerving to avoid running over a mongoose (another non-native species)...but even they should know how destructive these animals are. This is supposed to be Maui, not Old Mac Donalds farm. The place is in danger of being overrun with them...even with them being culled. Somebody's got to do it, and if the beast ends up in a smoldering pit, soon to be feeding a number of folks with it's tasty flesh...so much the better. I'm not a maui pig hunter myself...but I'd do my part if I get the chance.

And, oh yeah...please restrain your children when you take them out in public. :)

Guy-who-thought-Ron's-artwork-was-funny

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