Eh Brah

2011-07-07 Columns

July 07, 2011 | 09:50 AM

Are you kidding me? I come home from work to find our sink exploded with dishes and the smell of rotting food throughout the house. Get your lazy ass up and clean! But that's nothing—why were your pee-soaked shorts lying in front of the toilet? Wait, I don't want to know. And please stop asking me to get you ice cubes when it takes less than five steps for you to get to the fridge. You're not disabled or handicapped. You can walk and cook just fine, though all you do is sleep, eat and watch TV. When was the last time you showered? More importantly, when are you going to grow up? Seriously, my grandma took better care of herself when she was 90. You are a grown woman—get it together! ■

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