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January 08, 2009
If it looks like a lame duck...
Ah, 2008—the memories we shared. We've already dedicated enough ink to retrospectives and wrap-ups, so I'll just add mine to the chorus of voices saying: good riddance. It was, all in all, a year to forget, even if it was punctuated by occasional moments of hope. (Or at least a somewhat hope-like emotion. Maybe more hope mixed with dread. We'll call it "drope.") At any rate, let's all welcome 2009 with minds and arms open. It's like a new houseguest: just because the last guy ate all your food, left a mysterious stain on the sheets and possibly stole your wife's earrings doesn't mean you should treat the next person with suspicion. Or actually, come to think of it, maybe it does. We've got our eye on you, 2009.
THURSDAY, JANUARY 1
OK, I know New Year's Eve is one of a few sacred, marked-on-the-calendar excuses to get drunk and play with explosives; far be it from me to spoil everyone's good time. But man oh man, the smoke. We stayed in with the toddler and a few friends and did the quiet champagne toast thing but decided to walk to the beach as the hour drew near, to maybe watch some fireworks from afar and meditate on the crashing waves and the cyclical, erosive nature of time and stuff. I have suffered less lung damage standing two feet from a raging heap of burning tires and asbestos shingles on a windy day (seriously, I used to do that all the time) than I did on that three-block stroll. After less than an hour in the hazy outdoors, I ushered in 2009 with a raw throat and hacking cough. Again, not trying to sound like Old Man Killjoy here (I've set off a bottle rocket or two in my day) but maybe, like, more centralized parties and less individual driveway displays would be a good thing for everyone's respiratory health. Am I alone here?
FRIDAY, JANUARY 2
The new County Council was inaugurated this morning, with Danny Mateo taking over as chairman from termed-out Riki Hokama. And so begins our new award-winning segment (yes it's just now being launched and has already won multiple awards), Nishiki Watch, in which we see how long it takes the council's new/old member to follow through on his promise to pay off the $100,000 loan from developer Everett Dowling that earned him a date with the Board of Ethics and some serious post-election heat. When I interviewed Nishiki before breaking the story last month, he told me he was going to do "everything in his power" to secure another source of financing so he could get out from under his debt and be free to vote on Dowling projects. As each day passes and that doesn't happen, we have to conclude Nishiki was either a) being less than truthful; or b) that he doesn't have what it takes to get a loan of that size and thus the deal with Dowling was of the sweetheart variety. Either way, not a good start to a new tour of public service...In other news: Recently, Publisher Tommy Russo and I were debating when it will be accurate to call Gov. Lingle a lame duck, if it isn't already. By the strictest definition, elected officials are lame ducks the moment they begin their concluding term. But generally the phrase doesn't come into use until a politician enters his or her final year and especially after a successor has been chosen (Lingle's reign expires in 2010). So what's the term for a politician who's stuck in the middle—not yet with one webbed foot out the door, but rapidly approaching lame duckitude: Wounded water bird? Fractured fowl? Maladriot mallard? I leave it to you.
SATURDAY, JANUARY 3
OK, here's the caveat: despite taking a couple econ classes in college that I really do kind of remember, I am not an economist. Very, very far from it, in fact. But that isn't going to stop me from commenting on an AP story printed in today's Maui News under the headline, "Wall St. Enjoys Upbeat Start to '09." The gist is that the Dow went up 250 points to close above 9,000, numbers which we've been led to believe are extremely meaningful and, well, alright fine, if you say so. But here's the part that bugs me: "The market lived up to the hopes of many analysts that it would have a fresh start in the new year after a horrific 2008." Great, a fresh start! Only one problem: the New Year, in real terms, is meaningless. It's just a day we've arbitrarily agreed to flip the calendar and start using a different four-digit number, which is also completely arbitrary. (And don't give me that Jesus stuff; nobody knows exactly when he was born, and even if we did, counting off the years from the birthday of an Iron Age desert preacher, no matter how swell of a guy he was, is the very definition of arbitrary.) Anyway, my point is: if the Dow can rally over something as inconsequential as the New Year, isn't that proof that it's just a made-up figure that fluctuates in unpredictable and often nonsensical ways, and maybe isn't the barometer we should be using to gauge the health of our economy or anything else? I'm not saying discard it altogether—I'm willing to believe those numbers are somehow connected to real people and their real money—but maybe we're overdue for some boulder-sized grains of salt?
SUNDAY, JANUARY 4
Didn't get into this yesterday because of my semi-coherent economic mini-rant, but looks like outgoing Maui Land & Pineapple CEO David Cole is starting to cash in his chips. The Maui News reports that on his last day on the job, Cole dropped 28,602 shares at a price of $13.43 per. (Cole, who remains on the company's board, still holds close to 200,000 shares.) At its peak, ML&P stock was worth more than $40 a share, so the glass-half-empty take would be that Cole lost out, along with all the other investors. The glass-half-full analysis (for David, anyway) is that he just made $384,124.86. Not bad for a day's "work."
MONDAY, JANUARY 5
The Obama/Lingle snubathon continues: Last month, Lingle drew heat for being a conspicuous no-show at a meeting between the President-elect and the nation's governors. She defended the decision by citing time constraints and more pressing responsibilities (though during the campaign she seemed to find plenty of room in her schedule to stump for McPalin and speak at the GOP convention). Now it comes out that Obama turned up his nose at the notion of a meet-and-greet with Lingle during his recent stay on Oahu. According to the Honolulu Star-Bulletin, an unnamed aide said Obama "preferred to spend his vacation with family and friends." The Guv and the Prez are reportedly set to at long last press the flesh next month in D.C. That should give both camps plenty of time to think up creative excuses to once again delay the awkwardness.
TUESDAY, JANUARY 6
I'm too busy/lazy to chase the answer at the moment, but I just gassed up my rig so it's on my mind: is there a state or county law that prohibits gas stations from having those automatic locks on the pump nozzles—you know the ones that allow you to go take a pee or buy some bad coffee while you fill up? I know I sound like I'm doing a bad, whiny Jerry Seinfeld impression, but does it annoy anyone else to have to stand there and squeeze the handle, inhaling noxious fumes and watching your dollars tick away? Of all the small, stupid, unnecessary conveniences we're offered every day, that one actually seems to serve a good and practical purpose. I smell a hard-hitting investigative piece. Also, I smell like gas. MTW