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Eh%20Brah

December 27, 2007

When you and your aged boyfriend moved into the ohana next door to my dream rental home, I thought you would bring the same mellow vibe every one of the four previous tenants had in the six-plus years I’ve lived there. Was I wrong! First, you installed your illegal ceramics business in your carport on the driveway that we’re supposed to share. (The striped pots you sell are so ugly that the only way anyone would want to buy them is if they contained illegal contraband.) But then my houseguests started reporting suspicious sounds and smells, which seemed to occur every time the old guy got back from a trip to Florida. Finally, you began verbally threatening my visitors who dared walk up past your house to mine. One of them was so traumatized, he complained to our landlord, who promptly evicted me! So, thank you, bitch, because after all the trauma you caused me I managed to find a bigger house that’s much closer to the ocean and my office. But the best part about it is that you’re nowhere near me anymore.