Source: Maui Time, Maui News, Best of Maui, Maui Activities

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This Week in Review
WEDNESDAY, Mar. 16

by Anthony Pignataro was once seriously injured trying to take cand

March 10, 2005

He’s a card-carrying member of the

Republican Party

but he wants to spend lots of taxpayer dollars on strange, mystical things like “government services.” I am, of course, talking about Maui County Mayor

Alan Arakawa

. His new budget is out—all $404.8 million of it—and it’s chock full of all kinds of new spending. There’s $10.5 million to buy the 80,000-square foot

One Main Plaza

in Wailuku so the county can have more office space. There’s also $2 million for

Maui Community College

 to help it start a four-year degree program. And a cool $90 million for infrastructure improvements. All capital ideas, but I can’t help wondering what the Republican Party really does stand for out in Hawaii. Does any of this sound like the work of one of them less-government-is-best-government types?







THURSDAY, Mar. 17



And now for news from some of America’s more traditional Republicans. Looks like they’re one step closer to their cherished dream of planting a forest of oil wells in Alaska’s

Arctic National Wildlife Refuge (ANWR)

. Yup, the big ANWR drilling bill passed the U.S. Senate yesterday by a squeaky 51-49 vote. For

George W. Bush

and his party, it marks the first act of what will almost certainly be one of their biggest victories over this nation’s environmental movement, such as it is. And they couldn’t have done it without… Democratic Senators

Daniel Akaka

and

Daniel Inouye

! That’s right, folks: both of Hawaii’s senators voted to let Bush drill. In fact, the vote was so tight that you can say Bush couldn’t have gotten the ANWR bill through the Senate without Akaka and Inouye. Great job, boys! By the way, have I told you lately that you suck? What happened? Afraid your fellow

Democrats

were finally beginning to gel as a vigorous opposition? You know, seven Republicans voted against this travesty, but not you! Oh, and stop already with that bullshit you’re slinging around about how your vote was about making sure Alaska’s indigenous peoples’ voices were heard. You sold out for who knows what and now Alaska’s going to become a giant

Shell Station

. Man, Hawaii better get some good shit out of this deal.







FRIDAY, Mar. 18



That great benefactor of human rights and labor justice—as a matter of fact, I am talking about

Wal-Mart

—accepted a record $11 million fine to settle a federal case that charged the uberstore with “employing” 352 illegal immigrants to work as janitors. Though many of the workers lugged the slop bucket seven days a week, Wal-Mart somehow neglected to pay them overtime pay or injury compensation, though they did helpfully lock them in the stores overnight so they wouldn’t be late to work the next day. A Wal-Mart spokesperson told the

Associated Press

 that the company “should have had better safeguards in place.” She also said the fine was “a lot of money,” which shows that Wal-Mart public relations flacks possess a sense of humor. Because some would say that the $11 million fine is tiny compared to, oh, Wal-Mart’s revenue figures for the last three months of 2004. In fact, the illegal immigrant employment fine represents just 0.35 percent of Wal-Mart’s $3.16 billion in earnings and a microscopic 0.01 percent of the company’s $82.8 billion in net sales. For just three months. Oh yes, this fine definitely sends a powerful message.







SATURDAY, Mar. 19



Forgot to mention that two days ago The Maui News handed in another entry in the Worst Headline of the Year contest, and it looks like a possible finalist: “Suspects accused of being chased in stolen car then on foot by police.”





SUNDAY, Mar. 20



So

Charlie Jencks

is back in the news. He’s the powerful developer who hooked up with more-powerful developer

Everett Dowling

and tried to cut the state funding for

Akaku

public access cable by two-thirds. Anyway, Jencks is still trying to get his

Wailea 670

project built (investor and big-time contractor

Steve Goodfellow

also took shots at Akaku—hey, it’s the in-thing these days). Jenck’s project has been in the planning stages for nearly two decades, but he can’t seem to get the

Maui County Council

to look at it. He’s done everything—cut its number of homes from 2,600 to a mere 1,400; hold public meetings like the one written about in today’s

Maui News

; slash the number of golf courses from two to one; even come up with a hot new name:

Honua’ula

, which is Hawaiian for “screwed over.” Just kidding! It actually means “red earth,” which fits. Developers always seem to name their projects for whatever used to exist on the land before they brought in stucco and concrete.







MONDAY, Mar. 21



According to today’s edition of

TVPredictions.com

—the online newsletter that covers all things television-related—

TiVo

is offering its “friends in the media” $200 bucks off it’s

$299 TiVo-Humax receiver

. Just for being reporters and stuff. “Over the years, many of you have asked whether TiVo offers a discount to members of the press,” read the March 18, 2005 TiVo press release. “Today, courtesy of TiVo and our strategic partner Humax, we are please to announce a limited

Media Accommodation Program

and extend to you and your family an offer that is valid until April 30.” See that? Media Accommodation! Now that’s what I’m talking about. Price slashed to just 99 clams! Ha! And I think I speak for everyone when I say ‘bout damn time. You know, just the other day I was—hey, wait a sec. I don’t remember receiving any email from TiVo saying I was eligible for a receiver discount. I don’t think I would have deleted something like that. I know I wouldn’t have. Hey! You guys didn’t send me one. Media accommodation my ass! You suck, TiVo people!







TUESDAY, Mar. 22



No, really—you guys just forgot to send me my free TiVo discount, right? I mean, I can play ball: TiVo is the greatest thing since cheap hookers. Aww, come on!