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The Cancer Guy
Will you people just please eat your frickin’ vegetables?

by By Anthony Pignataro

April 21, 2005

Though he’s balding and talks a little like Jerry Seinfeld, Dr. Michael Greger is a very scary guy. Especially if you listen to him after you’ve eaten a bacon cheeseburger.



 “I am today not the paragon of health that I have been called, but I will try to muddle through,” the Boston medical doctor said Apr. 15 before asking how many in the Cameron Center auditorium knew someone who died of cancer.



There were about 50 people gathered—which was excellent for a Friday night Vegetarian Society of Hawaii lecture—and a substantial portion had one arm in the air.



“Look around the room,” he said.



Gregor spoke for about an hour, then his voice gave out. His thesis—which he said is supported by the weight of many scientific studies and meta-studies—is that the best way to fight cancer is to avoid exposure to carcinogens like pesticides. And the best way to do that is to eat a “plant-based diet.”



“Pork, beer, chicken, cheese and fish are the highest sources of dioxin here in the United States,” he said, singling out fast food as the worst culprit and making at least one audience member curse his earlier lunch selection. “Dioxins are stored in animal fat and the higher you go up the food chain the more concentrated the levels are… Meat eaters just seem to be oozing carcinogens from their bodies.”



Greger hit fast food a couple times. “The federal government spends $10 million a year on promoting healthy eating,” he said. “McDonald’s spends that much in 48 hours.”



It was a given that Greger would get a few laughs with his “Now, the beef industry disagrees” line. But he also made clear that even vegans can’t escape cancer completely, what with the world poisoned by 1950s nuclear bomb tests, diesel fumes and new car smell.



Still, Greger said that eating greens—or, as he pronounced them, “guhreeeens”—every day would halve the odds of getting cancer.



“The scientific community just discovered a way to boost the liver’s ability to fight carcinogens, and that way is called… broccoli!” he said. “Broccoli helps your body take out the trash.”



The key is the antioxidants found in fruits and vegetables. After calling kale “the cheapest health insurance in the U.S.,” Greger talked about the virtues of various foods—not hesitating to drop a bad pun here and there.



“The healthiest foods are those with the brightest colors,” he said, pointing out that red cabbage has 10 times the antioxidants of ordinary, boring green cabbage. “We Americans eat a lot of beige foods… The colors themselves are the antioxidants. They come literally out of the blue!”



The same is true of flavors. “The more bitter your Brussels sprout is, the better it is,” he said. “We shouldn’t breed bitterness out. The flavors themselves are antioxidants. You should curry favor with your body.”



Actually, oregano is probably better than curry.



“Oregano is really good,” Greger said. “It has 40 times more antioxidants than blueberries and 1000 times more than anything most Americans eat… Just grow it yourself. Oregano is a weed! You’ll have to mow it to keep it down.”



It would have been a pretty humorous night, but then Greger decided to mention that “cancer cells don’t die.” Then he explained that cancer cells have been found growing in bodies that have been dead for 30 years.



Stupid bacon cheeseburger.

MTW