ME: Have you seen King Kong?
HER: Yeah. The new one? It went on and on and on and on and...
Yeah, it was fucking forever and a day... and I bawled my eyes out. Like, hardcore.
Yeah, I hate when animals die.
ďĎTwas beauty that killed the
beast.Ē Geez. All that poor ape wanted was his little lady to love and
protect. Sure, he had anger management issues but she coulda stuck
around for a while!
If you think about it, itís kinda like having a relationship with a
really needy person and you just arenít that into it. But, when you try
to leave they freak and have the most dramatic broken heart ever. Itís
not like itís your fault though, if you just arenít into them. Same
type of situation and they always want to blame the girl!!
Uh, yeahÖ Thatís probably why I cried my eyes out, too. Gosh, you just hit the nail on my head. It hurts. Hereís why:
Had a fun weekend with this guy Iím
seeing. It was cool: we hung out, went to a couple partiesóI met his
boss and co-workers, he met some of my friends. Then we had this
romantic, very lovely dinner and he was so charming, I was swooning all
over him... (Donít gag yet.) Then, probably because Iíd had a couple
glasses of wine (okay, AND three cocktails), I told him I didnít think
he was over his ex yet.
When he insisted he was over
heróthat sheís totally with someone else now and heís seeing meóI
pressed the issue, and straight-out asked him if he was still in love
with her. And after a long pause, he looked me in the eye, sighed, and
said, ďI donít know.Ē
OH SHIT. Then what???
Then we sat there in silence and stared
at the dessert. It was so awkward and awful. And we drove all the way
from Lahaina to Wailuku like that. And I threw a
passive-aggressive/silent tizzy fit and dropped him off at his place,
when weíd already made plans previously to go back to my crib and watch
King Kong. And he didnít say a word or look at me when he got out of
Have you spoken since?
Nope. I went home, cried myself to
sleep. Woke up two hours later and watched King Kong by myself. Cried
some more and couldnít go back to sleep. Been up since 3 a.m. I feel
TERRIBLE. And I have, of course, all this work to do and itís extremely
difficult and I hate myself. I am The Sabotage Queen.
Itís the psychologist in you that wants to show people their own insides. Is he at work right now?
No. Heís off today so itís killing me that heís not calling. He usually calls by now. God Iím such a mess.
You should probably bite the bullet and call him.
Yeah, did that about a half hour ago. Left a lame message. Nothing to do now but wait. And work. I hate today.
That sucks. Iím sorry.
Thanks. And thanks for letting me get that off my chest. Canít really talk about it, like, out loud.
YeahÖ I feel like actually verbalizing shit is so emotionally intensifying.
Can be, yes. And youíre so
horribly right on about the psychologist thing. I mean, weíre really
just hanging outóI didnít need to ask any deep questions, or make any
ďastuteĒ observations. Why do I have to do that? Itís so obnoxious.
Itís a Pisces thing. I totally do it, too. Itís like that situation
with the guy that got mad at you at Tiki Lounge when you ďinnocentlyĒ
asked him why he was attracted to underage girls. We just like to watch
people and see the way they work and when we spot something about them
that they donít even know, we simply HAVE to tell them. You know,
thatís exactly what you did and now he has a lot to think about. Thatís
probably why he hasnít called yet. Heís trying to figure out his own
shit. When he does, heíll call and I bet it makes your (yeah, Iím gonna
say it) relationship, or friendship, stronger.
Wow. I guess so. Maybe youíre right. I still feel like an ass, though.
Hey, it happens. Iím proud of you for holding back for so long.
I just wish I was better prepared
for his answer if I was so willing to dish it out like that. Now I have
to defend my actions and I hate that. Itís understandable he still has
feelings for his ex. I think Iím just trying to avoid having my
feelings getting any deeper if heís unwilling to let go. But he
isówilling, I think. BUT then again, I guess some things take longer
than you want sometimes.
Ainít that the truth.
Anyway, that fucking King Kong movie really fucked me up.
I was so irritated with that movie. They couldíve cut, like, five minutes out of each scene and I woulda been satisfied.
Yeah, it was King Long. Ha.
Samantha Campos does not find it
ironic that she has just now received by mail an unsolicited copy of
the book Minds in Distress: The Clash of Evolution, Human Conditioning,
and Culture in America. MTW