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Sexual Healing

January 25, 2007





Dr. Michael Ra Bouchard runs the Aloha Sexual Health and Happiness

Center on the Big Island. On his website Bouchard says, “Sexuality is

not just something which we do, but it rather a core aspect of who we

are, for its subtle—and at times not so subtle—‘primary directive’ is

deftly woven throughout our entire being.”

I recently decided to get the lowdown on sexual health and talked to the acclaimed sexologist by phone.







MAUI TIME WEEKLY: Why did you become a sexologist?



MICHAEL RA BOUCHARD:

GRID—Gay Related Immune Deficiency—or the beginning of AIDS is really

why I became a sexologist. I was a heterosexual male living in New

Orleans, watching all my gay friends die. So I became a volunteer for

HIV/AIDS prevention. I needed to attempt to understand the behavior of

what I was happening. I realized then that AIDS was more than just a

gay disease. For the first 10 years of my work, that’s what I focused

on.





What city has the healthiest sex?



Sodom and Gomorrah—do those count? Haha! Hmm… I don’t know if I can

answer that. Fascinating. San Francisco popped into my head, it’s a

bastion of liberalism and open-mindedness but… If you asked me what

country—the Dutch, Holland, are the most open-minded, tolerant people.

They’re not only sexually, but socially very high-minded beings. The

Netherlands, Holland, Sweden, Scandinavia… Some of the best porno came

out of those countries. It’s not just prurient sex, but they also have

a healthy overall attitude about sex.

The most repressed and distorted view of sex is in America. We were

founded by freaks who were literally kicked out Europe and came here

with this hardcore distortion about sexuality. We have a very

schizophrenic view of sex here. Not really a healthy, loving view. It’s

also due to a lack of sex education.





What are the most common problems you hear?



I suppose the main thing folks call me about is that somehow at some

place in their life they’re not happy, not feeling fulfilled with some

aspect of their relationship. My work is about having more of what they

want and less of what they don’t, according to their values. Whether

it’s in love, sex, their relationship or marriage. Let’s be frank,

people only call as a last resort. I always say, “If not now, when?”

When I was in Manhattan, people would say, “I saw your ad five years

ago, but I thought it would get better.” So they try to solve their

problems on their own, or through friends, books, until the pain of not

doing something finally becomes greater than the pain of doing it.

Sometimes they ask, “When do you know it’s time to move on?”

Essentially when you’ve done everything you can. Is it harmful to you?

Is your partner open and willing to address it? Sex is kind of nature’s

way of hypnotizing us, but that so-called honeymoon period, maybe six

months to a year or two, goes from passionate to compassionate. Sex is

10 percent of what I do, the rest addresses the relationship with

yourself, your partner and life in general. I call it the holy trinity

of head, heart and crotch—I am a recovering Catholic.

The most common question is “Am I normal?” [Alfred] Kinsey said the

abnormal sex act is the one that can’t be performed. The church gets

involved with “natural” or procreative, basically straight intercourse

between a man and woman, so that according to church, everything else

becomes abnormal.

We get sexually repressed shortly after birth. But you can’t deny

our biological aspect. We’re human animals. However, being gonad-driven

all your life isn’t the ultimate goal—we want to integrate our Chakras.

And it begins with accepting ourselves and sex—expressing it in a

congruent manner.

I’m now one of the third generation sexologists. Our philosophy is

we’re here to observe and essentially assist people in being able to

have more of what they want without imposing our values on them. I work

with fundamental Christians, half a dozen at least a year. They call

me, I give them picture books, help them understand the mechanics and

tell them, “It’s okay, Jesus wants you to have sex!”





For more info, visit Dr. Michael’s website at www.sexhappiness.com or email sexdoc@aloha.net.







Samantha Campos is preparing to be

spanked on the Point 101.1 FM Friday night during the “Monkey Spankers”

show and hopes Motobabe will show some mercy. MTW