You Suck: A Love Story, by Christopher Moore
328 pages. William Morrow.
[HARDCOVER FICTION] There’s nothing more romantic than a good
vampire tale. And nothing sexier than one featuring Starbucks-drinking,
self-tanning, adolescent bloodsuckers in love, a healthy dose of
“Nosferatitude” and general vampyric screwball antics. Booklist calls
Christopher Moore’s follow-up to 1995’s Bloodsucking Fiends a
“hilarious mockery of the pursuit of the appetites.” Since its release
last month, You Suck has been holding court in the Top 10 list of New
York Times bestsellers. And why wouldn’t it? Like it says on Moore’s
website, “If you’re looking for San Francisco scenery, hot vampire sex
(similar to hot monkey sex, but hotter), giant shaven cats, the Cheddar
Princess of Fond du Lac, and the Fighting Beatniks of Allen Ginsberg
High School—four words: YOU SUCK. It doesn’t.”
Trust the Man
Rated R. 103 min.
[DVD/ROMANTIC COMEDY] I’ll be honest: this movie did not get rate
well on the Tomatometer—the review gauge for the movie critics website,
www.rottentomatoes.com. They mostly diss it for not being more like a
Woody Allen film, but the extremely likeable cast—David Duchovny,
Julianne Moore, Billy Crudup and Maggie Gyllenhaal as lead characters;
Eva Mendes, Ellen Barkin and Garry Shandling in supporting roles—and
the tongue-in-cheek title should dictate there are redeemable qualities
at work here. Perhaps the movie critics haven’t had to date in this
decade, for I believe the story, while “sitcom-esque”—which is fine by
me, I happen to like, nay, love sitcoms—addresses urban modern love and
all its selfish hypocrisies and pretentiousness: men who don’t grow up,
sex addiction, the-grass-is-always-greener-itis, et al. And there are
moments that are uncomfortably painful, others that are hilarious, and
some that are touching—often, simultaneously. It’s a romantic comedy,
after all, and like real relationships, it will be alternately funny
and not. Overall, I agree with amateur reviewer “Brian C.” from Kansas
City who wrote, “Wity [sic] writing, and characters that are allowed to
have some flaws made this one of the first chick flicks that did not
make me want to vomit.” Yes... Just like a real relationship.
Return To Romance, Matt Catingub Orchestra Of Hawaii
Mountain Apple Company, 2006
[CD/EASY-LISTENING] This is the equivalent of a feel-good Manhattan
Transfer Christmas Album, only it’s all-love, all-the-time. Polite,
tasteful, pleasant… oh, break out the bubbles and bearskin rugs,
people—we’ve got sax solos. So basically, it’s soothing V-Day music for
that candlelit dinner you’re making for your parents because you’re
such a thoughtful kid. Well, that and you’re hoping to get on their
good side so you can borrow the car next weekend for the SCCA races but
whatever, let’s get back to the music. These are all the classic
romantic tunes you (or your parents) love, as arranged by Honolulu
Symphony Pops conductor Matt Catingub and accompanied by other great
local musicians. There’s some lovely crooning by Patti Austin, Amy
Hanaiali`i Gilliom and Raiatea Helm, distinctive Na Leo and Brothers
Cazimero harmonizing and the requisite rendition of “When I Fall In
Love”—this time with a smooth Jimmy Borges supplying vocals. Most
swoon-worthy tracks: “How Deep Is The Ocean?” featuring Keali`i
Reichel, “What Are You Doing The Rest Of Your Life?” featuring Amy
Hanaiali`i Gilliom and “As Time Goes By” with Matt Catlingub.