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by Jacob Shafer

January 29, 2009

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 21

This is what we’re in for, folks. The Obama presidency is barely 24 hours old and already the Fox News team is salivating over the fact that he’s “not really president” because he said the word “faithfully” at the wrong moment or something. To be clear: I am not saying Obama deserves anything resembling a free pass from the media; quite the opposite. With his sky-high approval rating and the pervasive sense of national panic, there are some disturbing parallels to the post-9/11 political climate when, you’ll remember, the mainstream press, with few exceptions, gave Bush the reverential kid-glove treatment. And we all know how that turned out. So yes, of course, we must question our leader and hold his feet to the fire when necessary. But not this tired brand of petty hairsplitting. Listen Fox: we know you’ve gone into a deep state of collective depression now that the Decider is an unemployed private citizen, but no amount of wishing will make him president again. If you really miss the guy that much, why don’t you go to like round-the-clock coverage of him clearing brush on his ranch or something and let the rest of us move on with the business of climbing out of the giant, gaping hole he put us in. 

THURSDAY, JANUARY 22

The best thing about the start of a new legislative session (and it’s a long list to choose from) is the soaring, hyperbole-laden speeches. Obama has set the bar pretty high in that department, but state Senate chief Colleen Hanabusa managed to clear it during her opening remarks: “These are the times when we show the people what we are made of. I am here to pledge this body’s unflinching commitment to putting the needs of Hawaii’s people before all other considerations.” So step one will be foregoing that 36 percent pay hike, right? Right?… In other news: Considering that she used to be one notch above Satan and just below gay Teletubbies (remember that?) on the Republicans’ list of people to blame for everything, it’s pretty amazing that Secretary of State Hillary Clinton was confirmed by a 94-2 vote in the Senate. Whether it’s due to her fence-mending efforts or the strong push for national unity, Hillary, for better or worse, has come a long way from her “vast right-wing conspiracy” days. (Though you know a couple of those crusty old GOP barnacles wept a little inside when they muttered their “ayes.”)



FRIDAY, JANUARY 23

Time to play, Is This Good News? A number of highway projects on Maui that have languished for lack of funds could get a shot in the arm under a $4.2 billion statewide plan unveiled by Gov. Lingle. (Good news!) The projects will be paid for by increasing the gas tax and hiking vehicle registration and other fees. (Hmmm—bad news?) But lawmakers have promised that no tax increases will be implemented until Hawaii enjoys two consecutive quarters of at least 1 percent job growth, as reported in today’s Maui News. Which, given the gloomy predictions of many economists, could be a while. (Now I’m just confused.)



SATURDAY, JANUARY 24

Congratulations to Maui boy Destin Daniel Cretton, whose short film, Short Term 12, won a jury prize at the prestigious Sundance Film Festival. Cretton, who grew up in Haiku, cut his teeth as a producer at Akaku before having a documentary he made for the community access station picked up by HBO in 2007. In a statement on Akaku’s Web site, President and CEO Jay April called Cretton “a positive role model for Maui residents young and old.” Man, first Shane Victorino and now this. I think we might be enjoying a role model surplus.



SUNDAY, JANUARY 25

Hey, you know what we haven’t talked about in a while? The Superferry. First comes news that the Department of Transportation and Gov. Lingle are looking to sink another $5 million into the vessel. That includes $1.5 million for the Environmental Impact Statement required by Act 2, which you’ll recall is the law signed by Lingle that allowed the Superferry to begin operations without an EIS. So, to recap: the boat was launched, controversially, without an EIS; there have been problems, many of them related to the fact that an EIS wasn’t completed; and now state officials want more money to deal with some of those problems and complete the EIS. Is your head spinning yet? And speaking of problems: a few days ago the Honolulu Star-Bulletin ran a short item under this opposite-of-reassuring headline: “No whale strike occurred, Superferry says.” If the Superferry camp is saying there wasn’t a strike that must mean somebody is saying there was. That somebody is a passenger who reportedly called a federal hotline during a morning voyage. According to the Save Kahului Harbor blog, the passenger is sticking to his story despite the Superferry’s conclusion that there is “no credible evidence” of a strike and thus no need for further investigation. The bigger question of course is: what is the Superferry doing to avoid collisions with whales and other ocean creatures? Not much, apparently. Scientists and environmentalists have called for the installation of water-level cameras and a meter that would record collision-related slowdowns. You know, the kind of stuff that a thorough, completed EIS could have mandated back before the boat ever left the harbor. Why didn’t anybody think of that?



MONDAY, JANUARY 26

OK, let’s be fair: I hear the Superferry has really comfortable seats. So comfortable, in fact, that you can barely feel the impact when it hits a whale.



TUESDAY, JANUARY 27

Gov. Lingle delivered her State of the State address yesterday. (Side note: they really need to come up with a less awkward name. “Condition of the Commonweal?” “Trim of the Territory?” “Status of the Sovereignty?”) Lingle promised upfront it would be “a fairly typical speech,” and for the most part she kept her word. Probably the best part was near the end, when the Guv announced she’s “enthused” to work “as a colleague rather than an adversary” with her esteemed cohorts in the legislature. “I will do more than reach across the aisle,” promised Lingle. “I will walk across the aisle.” She will dance across the aisle. She will leap across the aisle. Actually, you know what? She’s just gonna tear the aisle right out of there and everyone can sit on her lap in a giant chair while she reads them bedtime stories from the Superferry EIS. Can you feel the love? MTW