Source: Maui Time, Maui News, Best of Maui, Maui Activities

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by Jacob Shafer

April 16, 2009

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 8

Say what you will about Rep. Joe Bertram, the man is not afraid of controversy. Bertram, the second-term state representative from Maui’s 11th District, has previously been the target of criticism (and accolades) for his support of medical marijuana and same-sex unions. But those hot-button issues seem downright frigid compared to the most recent Bertram-related brouhaha. Last week, Joe testified at the sentencing hearing of a friend who was caught using the Internet to solicit a “14-year-old girl” who turned out to be an undercover cop. At the hearing, Bertram called his friend’s misdeed an “imaginary crime.” Predictably, the attacks came hard and fast. A Republican-backed anti-Bertram radio spot began airing yesterday. The spot features the voice of Mark Klass, father of Polly Klass, the Northern California girl whose abduction and murder created a media sensation in the mid-’90s. Though I’ve yet to hear it, Klass reportedly says Bertram “stands out” among “bad politicians.” In a Viewpoint piece printed in today’s Maui News, Bertram attempts to clarify his remarks and explain why he supported his friend, Mark Marcantonio of Makawao. Bertram says he doesn’t condone Marcantonio’s actions and spoke at his hearing because he “mistakenly assumed” he would receive a mandatory minimum sentence of 10 years (Marcantonio plead guilty to a lesser charge and got nine months). Bertram says he opposes long prison sentences for nonviolent offenders: “With so many people in prison, we either have the most evil people on Earth or incarceration is counterproductive.” He also takes aim at undercover entrapment tactics: “[S]o much time and money is being spent on sting operations when that money should be spent on ‘real’ victims.” Though I don’t necessarily agree that a 52-year-old man soliciting a young teenager online is a “nonviolent” crime (violence doesn’t always mean direct, immediate physical harm), I think Bertram makes some interesting points. Even if you disagree with him completely, there’s no denying he sticks to his principles, political fallout be damned. That’s a rare quality in an elected official—though not always a good way to win elections. Be interesting to see how Joe fares when his seat comes up again in 2010.

THURSDAY, APRIL 9

According to a story in today’s Maui News, Molokai Properties Ltd. is looking to raise water rates on the island “by five times or more…in order to turn a modest 2 percent a year profit.” (The PUC has blocked the request for the moment, but given their history of caving to the demands of utilities I’d say Molokaians should prepare to see their water bills go up again in the near future.) Here’s the crux of the problem: that 2 percent profit may be “modest,” but it’s still a profit. And why, I shout yet again into the howling winds of free market capitalism, are we still running essential services like healthcare and water on a for-profit basis? I keep hearing how Obama is going to turn the country into a socialist republic. I eagerly await evidence to back that up. 

FRIDAY, APRIL 10

No, giving gobs of oversight-free cash to foundering banks and insurance companies doesn’t count.

SATURDAY, APRIL 11

I’m not going to re-print the particulars because I don’t want to inadvertently give the guy a plug, but I got an e-mailed press release this morning from a nameless diet “guru.” Here’s the subject head: “Drink Beer and Eat Pizza for 6-Pack Abs.” The fact that someone has taken the time to write a book on this subject and promote it suggests that there are still suckers, er, people who respond to that sentence with something other than a dismissive scoff. The recession has led to a glut of stories about how Americans are realizing you can’t get something for nothing, that pyramid schemes tend to crush the folks on the bottom and our greatest national resource is our bootstrap-tugging hard work. I almost want to believe it—then I see things like that e-mail, realize some poor slob is reaching for his maxed-out credit card and quickly lose hope. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna grab an extra large pepperoni and a case of Heineken—swimsuit season is just around the corner.

SUNDAY, APRIL 12

Happy Easter, everyone. I’ll leave the cute photos of kids and eggs and sunshine to others, and instead mark the occasion with a snippet from the late Bill Hicks, one of stand-up comedy’s most brilliant, caustic minds: “I was over in Australia during Easter, which was interesting. Interesting to note they celebrate Easter the same way we do: commemorating the death and resurrection of Jesus by telling our children a giant bunny rabbit left chocolate eggs in the night. Why those two things? Why not ‘a goldfish left Lincoln Logs in your sock drawer’? As long as we’re making shit up, go hog wild. At least a goldfish with a Lincoln Log on its back going across your floor to your sock drawer has a miraculous connotation.”

MONDAY, APRIL 13

Good news for Hawaii’s endangered monk seals: Congress has approved nearly $6 million to fund monitoring and conservation efforts. That’s about $2 million more than was appropriated last year, according to an AP report. I can already see the steam emanating from John McCain’s ears… In other, related news: Interesting item in today’s Honolulu Advertiser about how federal stimulus money for Hawaii’s schools is coming with strings attached, in the form of stricter performance standards. Educators say it’s unrealistic to expect them to meet the higher standards, since Gov. Lingle is planning to slash the education budget by about $90 million before doling out the federal cheese. Of course, despite bottom-of-the-heap test scores, Hawaii actually spends more per-pupil than 38 other states according to U.S. Census Bureau data, so clearly funding isn’t the only issue.

TUESDAY, APRIL 14

More bad news for newspapers, printed in a newspaper (because I know you haven’t had enough of that): Pacific Business News reports that Marriott International Inc. will now give complimentary newspapers only to guests who request them. The hotel chain—which offers the Wall Street Journal, USA Today or the local daily—estimates the move will mean almost 20 million fewer papers a year being shoved under doors. Look out pillow mint industry—you’re next. MTW