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Live Coral Sex At Maui Ocean Center

by Anuhea Yagi

July 28, 2011

Tuesday (August 2), 7:30-9:30pm, Maui Ocean Center, Maalaea; $22/$27

While making whoopi, for Homo sapiens, is most-predictable post-argument or on anniversaries, Montipora capitata (i.e. rice coral; or in Hawaiian, puna kea) is known to get nasty during summer months, within a few days after the new moon. Experts expect that this Tuesday (Aug. 2), rice coral polyps will pucker and ask one another,“Voulez vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?”–and you’re invited to be a voyeur. Imbibe complimentary coffee and desserts (oh, and don’t forget to rock the cash bar), and enjoy the Maui Ocean Center’s ninth coral spawning spectacle–which is every bit as intriguingly icky as it sounds. According to the aquarium’s website, “rice coral releases bundles of sperm and (high fat-content) eggs that are clearly visible with the naked eye... [and after] floating near the surface, the bundles break apart and the sperm are released.” Read: reschedule your Tuesday night skinny dipping session and go to the Ocean Center instead. 270-7088; mauioceancenter.com