Madam
December 25, 2009 | 03:45 PM

Ma'm-- It is clothes that are the problem, and lead men into this "perversion." It is a known scientific fact that, on her 18th birthday, a wahine's puunani changes color and swells up, until it looks like a big red catcher's mitt, thus signalling to any kane nearby that she is sexually mature and receptive. Since everyone wears clothes now, kane are not able to see this signal. Therefore, we mistake "spoof" signals, such as swelling breasts, shapely hips, and long legs, as evidence that a juvenile female is ready to reproduce.

For all males in the world, I apologize for the inconvenience of the persistent problem of un-called for erections, all over the planet.

None Dare Call it Perversion