August 13, 2010 | 12:34 PM

I am so sorry to hear that you are carrying so much baggage. Clearly, for 9 years, you did not give from your heart. No wonder this narrative turned out so badly for you. You wanted it to all along, you designed it that way.

I suggest you return to the traditional ways of the kanaka maoli. Do a "non-violent communication" hooponopono, where you come together with this "icehead" in a space of unconditional love and acceptance. If you give up your own attachment to your own narrative, in which you are the giver and he is the reciever, then I think you may be brave enough to see the truth: you are the needy one who was violating his boundaries and creating a space of unhealth and lack of respect.

I invite you into a place of peace and acceptance and love, being fully present in the moment. I have been accepted by the hawaiian kahuna, ever since moving here from Berkeley. Now I am initiated as a kahuna, in the lineage of Daddy Bray, and I am willing to be hired by you to help you regain the traditional hawaiian wisdom that you have lost.

Starchild Bliss Berkowitz, Haiku